


Someday

by RosenMae



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Major Original Character(s), be afraid, but not for several chapters, no explicit content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 17:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16560440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosenMae/pseuds/RosenMae
Summary: The Maze Runner + an Original Character's point of view.Juliet is the only girl to appear in the maze. A few years later Thomas arrives in the box. And as usually happens when Thomas appears- hell breaks loose.I 100% recommend that you have read/ watched the series to be able to enjoy this. I wrote this before the third movie had come out so it's a mix of events from the movies and the books (not including the third movie obviously).I hope it's not too confusing it's been in my phone for a couple years now.





	1. Chapter 1

My first thought ever; it was dark. Somehow I knew that I wasn't scared of the dark, but I also knew that this darkness was different. **_I?_** For a moment my ears rang from the shock. **_Who was I?_**

A single name answered back, cutting clear across my hazy thoughts. **_Juliet_** _._ My mind tried to flinch away from the thought. It felt foreign, as if it belonged to someone else.

The world moved with a terrible screech and I felt myself rising. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recognized that I was in an elevator, but it didn't matter. I was losing myself. As my thoughts came in to focus I felt myself slipping away. Memories emptied out of my mind; places, people, laughter. Flashes of life flickered in my head only to be gone in the next instant. Desperately I tried to hold on to something, anything, one moment would be enough. But everything slipped away as I tried to grab it.

"No." My voice echoed in the darkness, and tears streamed down my face. "Hang on. Stop! Wait!" Panic raced through my body until I collapsed. I clutched at my head as I lay trembling on the floor, gasping for each breath. Blood pounded through my veins, and my lungs and eyes burned, but the memories continued to flee from my mind.

When it was over, nothing was left. I was an empty shell curled up on the floor of an ever moving elevator _. Juliet._ The name pressed against my empty memory again, sending a chill through me. I pushed myself off the floor, crawling slowly through the darkness until I reached a wall. Then, finally, I stood. It was hard to move, the elevator was moving fast enough that my body felt weighed down.

Facts, I thought with disdain, Facts but no memories. The darkness pressed in again, trying to overwhelm me and I tried to remember facts that would help. _The sun._ I could remember the sun. I could remember its heat against my back, and a breeze blowing past. The memory evaporated as a muted laugh tried to follow the breeze into my mind. My stomach churned as I realized the truth. Anything of who I was, all of it, was now gone. I had nothing left. The wall of the elevator was a cold metal mesh frame and I gripped it tight with my fingers.  _The sun._ I held on to that thought and didn't let my mind try to remember where the memory was from. Just the light and the heat on my back.

"Okay." I said out loud, trying to push back the oppressive darkness with my voice. "Now is all I have. Focus on Now." Fear shook my voice even as I tried to fool myself into thinking I was brave. The elevator was small, square box, empty except that there were a few crates inside. I tried for a while but I couldn't manage to open the crates. Finally I sat down, squeezing myself in between the crates and the one corner. Eventually the elevator had to stop. Right?

It felt like an eternity to have only known myself for a few minutes. I focused on the sun and on my name, I forced myself to hang on to it, realizing that if it was all I knew, I should at least keep it in my mind.

Eventually, I heard an alarm, muted and far away. Only a minute later, the elevator crashed to a stop. The crates and I bounced across the small space, and I quickly scrambled to the nearest wall. My ears rang from the sudden lack of movement and noise. Then I realized that there wasn't a lack of noise. I could still hear the alarm, and there were muted sounds of a clamor of some sort.

Above me there was a screeching of metal, and I looked up only to be blinded as light flooded into the darkness. I threw my arm up to shield myself from the light. Along with the light, noise rushed into the space. Voices chattered loudly above me, and then all at once they drew silent. Slowly I drew my arm away from my face and opened my eyes, squinting upward. The sight nearly made me fall down again.

Boys. There were so many of them, there had to be dozens at least. In all shapes, and sizes, and races. Though it looked like they were all teenagers. And they all were staring down at me open mouthed.

"It's a girl." Someone said and everyone started talking and shouting over each other. All at once I wanted to close the doors and stay down in the awful blackness.

"Shut it!" Someone screamed over the others. To my surprise, they listened. A tall boy with brown hair and solemn green eyes leaned down into the elevator. "I'm Nick. Will you come out?" The boy reached his hand down to me. I hesitated. His eyes were honest but some of the others didn't share that same look. "You'll be safe." He promised and I wanted to believe him. Despite myself, my hand still trembled as I reached out and took his.

With a jerk I was pulled into the sunshine. A few other hands reached out to steady me and I flinched away from them. But when I looked past the boys, what I saw made me forget all about them.

Beyond the group was the oddest thing I'd ever seen, or, I felt like it probably would have been even if I had memories to compare it with. There was a huge stone courtyard in the center of an enormous field. Ramshackle buildings appeared here or there, a large forest spread out in one corner. The other side held long rows of organized crops in various stages of growth, and past that were pens full of animals. And surrounding everything were walls.

Huge, grey, and unforgiving. They loomed so far above everything I estimated that they must be a few hundred feet tall. My gut clenched as a forgotten memory brushed across the back of my consciousness only to be swallowed away again. For a second I knew what it would feel like to stand on top and look down, but where I was when I got that feeling, who I'd been with, why I'd been there; none of that information was there. Just a lightheaded queasy feeling. The sight was so impressive and so troubling that for a moment I forgot where I was.

The boy named Nick frightened me out of my observations by clasping a hand heavily upon my shoulder. He announced to the group. "I'll be giving the new Greenbean the Tour. Get the supplies up and get back to work." I had no idea what 'Greenbean' meant, but the crowd noticeably relaxed at the word.

"Yeah, Greenie!" Someone shouted, and someone else seemed to reply, "Good that!" Though the words made little sense to me the whole group laughed and hollered out greetings of some variety. Then Nick was guiding me out of the crowd.

"I'm sorry about th-"

"Can you let go of me please?" I interrupted him. The boy jerked his hand off of my shoulder like I'd slapped it away.

"Sorry! Um..." He backed away a few steps, holding his hands up the whole time. I already understood from everyone's reaction, but I still need to confirm the anxious feeling in my gut.

"I'm the only girl here, aren't I?"

"... Yeah."

Once again panic crushed down on me, but I learned some things about myself in that moment. I learned that I was strong. I wasn't afraid, not quite anyway. I was angry. And I somehow knew that I couldn't show even a drop of weakness here. But even though I'd just decided that, when I spoke, my voice trembled.

"What is this place? What's happening?"

Relief flashed across his face, as if being asked the questions was expected, familiar even. "It's a long story. I'll tell it as I show you around." As we walked I felt every eye in the place turn to follow me, watching our progress across the field. Glade, he called it.

"This is the Glade. Every month, a new boy... err... person comes up in the Box." He indicated to the elevator I'd just gotten out of. "Same story for each of us. We wake up in the Box, our memories gone, all any of us knows is a name." He paused then, glancing at me.

"Juliet." I told him, though it still felt like lead on my tongue.

He nodded. "Other than the new Greenie once a month, the Box brings us supplies once a week. Anything we need, they give us."

"They? Who? Who did this to... Us?" That word felt like lead too, maybe because I didn't belong to this group. Not yet anyway.

"Don't know. Some Shanks playing god for all I know." I frowned. I didn't know that word; it wasn't in my head full of facts. It seemed wisest to ignore it for now; I could figure that out later.

The list of things to figure out later only grew as we walked around the Glade. It seemed there was a term for everything, even things that didn't need a new word like leader, or farmer, or butcher, or graveyard. The vague explanation for what was actually happening only made me angry. It seemed no one knew what we were doing here. I stopped. _We?_ I was surprised that I'd already included myself in this odd group. _"A common enemy unites us all." What was that? Where did that thought come from?_

"Listen. I've got to check on the supplies. Stay here. Normally the most recent Greenie would get you settled, but _..." He's dead,_ I realized by the way Nick glanced away. "I'll send Newt to help you get sorted."

I frowned, but wasn't in a position to argue, especially since I was determined not to show any weakness. "Okay."

"Remember the rules."

"Do your part. Never harm another Glader. Don't go outside the walls." I repeated dutifully. Nick slapped me on the shoulder, as he probably did with everyone else, smiled and jogged away.

 

I liked Newt instantly. He had an easy smile but his gaze was firm. He seemed unshakeable somehow. As he walked over to me I realized he was limping slightly but no pain crossed his face. It seemed odd to me that someone so who looked so strong would have a permanent limp, so I filed the information away. It fell into the rest of the 'Deal with this information later' stuff that I was learning.

"Hey Greenie. Name's Newt." He offered a hand out casually. It surprised me that his voice carried an accented lilt, something I hadn't heard from any the others.

"Juliet." I replied, shaking his hand.

"Good that. So you've got the run down, yeah? Let's see about finding you some food." He turned toward the Homestead.

"Hey, Newt." I asked as we started walking. "Could I get a weapon?"

He turned back to me so suddenly I stumbled to avoid running into him.

"Of all the bloody!- Why?"

"I get the rules, and I won't harm anyone. Unless they try to... harm me." I clenched my fists to make them stop shaking. "I'm the only girl. It's new and odd for all of you. And I... I can't say that I haven't noticed everyone staring. I... Just a knife, just for... security. For my own peace of mind."

He nodded then, once. "Good that. I'll see to finding you one. Would you know how to use it?"

My hand unconsciously drifted to my waist, to where I somehow knew one should be. "Yes. I don't know how I know, but yes."

He nodded again and then started walking once more. Up until now my tour had been looking at things from a distance. The more crowded the area was, the more frightened I became. I did my best not to show my fear as the boys called out to us, some comments more crude than others. Finally Newt convinced the Keeper of the cooks, a large boy named Frypan, to let us have some food. Fry seemed nice enough, under his gruff and hairy exterior. And after one bite of the sandwich I decided I could forgive him all his flaws. I practically inhaled the food. Even though my memories were gone I was pretty sure I'd never been so hungry. After a moment, Newt passed me the rest of the sandwich he'd been eating and I swallowed it down without reserve as well.

"Thank you." I said in between bites.

"Well, the good news is that you're just like everyone else who came up in the Box. Despite being a girl, you have the appetite of a bull. And you're handling all this a lot better than most of us bloody do. Usually the Shanks klunk themselves. Or they cry for a few weeks, at least. Not one of 'em slim it and hold their head high."

I'd finished the food and now stared at my empty hands.

"I'm terrified." I admitted, suddenly having to blink back tears. "I don't know anything. I'm trapped here. And nothing makes sense. But... No. Crying won't help. So I won't cry."

Newt reached over and patted my back once, then pulled away. When I looked at him his gaze was far into the distance, his mouth turned down seriously. For a moment I thought I could tell him my biggest fear.

"Newt? Why do we remember our names?"

"Don't know." He said absently.

"My name... doesn't feel like it belongs to me." My voice was so quiet I wasn't sure he could hear me. "Is that... normal?"

For a long moment he was silent. "I think a lot of us feel that way at first. But our names are all we have, so we hold on to 'em anyway, and then we get used to it."

"O-" I started to say then cleared my throat and tried again. "Good that."

Suddenly he was grinning at me. "Now you're getting the hang of it, Greenie! Let's see about finding you a knife. There will be a gathering soon, and you and I have to be there."

He explained about the gatherings and about how I'd be there despite not being a Keeper, simply because the meeting was about me. "A girl for the first time ever. They'll want to decide if that means something."

Once we were in the Homestead he told me to stay put, then disappeared into a side room. A few minutes later he came back with a long knife and belt in his hand. I withdrew the weapon from the belt and flipped it over in my hand a few times.

"It's perfect." I said, clipping the belt around my waist. As we exited the building I noticed a group of guys come running through the gaps in the walls. I'd heard the term Runner, but hadn't given it my attention until now. The boys looked exhausted. Even though they'd entered the Glade they didn't stop running until they got to the strange cement building in the middle of the Glade.

"The Gathering will start as soon as those Shanks are done in there." Newt explained, following my gaze.

"What are they doing?"

"It's like you've heard, yeah? Outside the walls is a Maze and the Runners spend their days running it, memorizing it, mapping it. That," he pointed at the building, "is where they keep the maps."

My confusion must have showed on my face because he explained. "The Runners are the best of us. The strongest, the fastest, the smartest, the bravest. They have to be. They're our one hope of getting out of this bloody place." The way he said it, almost with pride, almost with anger hinted at something important.

"It surprises me that you aren't one."

"I was. Once." He said quietly, and shifted his weight off his bad leg. The look on his face told me that it would be unwise to pursue the topic. Instead we stood in the shadows of the Homestead and waited.

Slowly, different Keepers came up and entered the building.

Finally, the Keeper of the Runners jogged over to us. He was a strong looking Asian kid. "A girl, huh? That's what the Gathering is about then?" Newt just nodded. The boy stretched out a hand to me. "I'm Minho. Welcome to the Glade, Greenie."

I shook his hand, I didn't know what to say so I said, "Good run today?"

He laughed suddenly. "No such thing as a good run in the Maze." He said the chilling words with a smile then pushed past us into the building.

Newt turned to me. "That's everyone. Are you ready?" I wasn't but I nodded anyway and we entered the room.

 

"Maybe we did something right, and they thought we deserved a reward." I gripped my knife at the boys words, but Newt was the one who answered.

"No one bloody touches her!" His ferocity was unexpected and the room pulled back from him. But it was the most unexpected person who finally came to my defense.

"I agree." The dark skinned and foul tempered boy, Alby, said. "She's here the same as the rest of us. We don't harm our fellow Gladers."

"But she isn't like us. There must be a reason."

"Slim it, you shank." Newt said tersely, then he addressed everyone. "I'm the only one who talks like this. Frypan is the only one with hair on every inch of his body. We're all different and that's never bloody meant anything before and it shouldn't now."

"Alright, Newt. You've made your position clear." Nick called out. "Who's next?"

Around the room it went, some called for things that made my blood run cold, some thought I should be separated from everyone else, some thought it didn't matter. Finally when everyone had said their peace they turned to me.

"Alright Juliet. You can speak now."

I took a deep breath, clenching my hands to still them. "Right. Can I just say that I'm terrified. I don't know what's going on or who I even am. What I do know, is that I really like this place. I can see how you work together, how you've accepted each other despite all the... klunk you've had to deal with. I appreciate that about you all. And. No matter what you decide, I won't let anyone touch me." My hand went to the hilt of the knife again. "But I don't want to be hidden away somewhere either. For better or worse, I'm here now. I want to do my part. I want to help."

There were nods all around the room and I stepped back.

"Alright, there are a few suggestions-" Nick started to say but Alby cut him off.

"Let's get through this already. I vote we do nothing and treat Juliet like any other Greenie."

"I agree." Frypan said. Newt and Nick quickly agreed as well. There were only three who argued and I made a mental note to steer clear of them whenever I could.

Finally the meeting came to an end and I gained my freedom. The Keepers promised to tell the boys under them about the decision. Then everyone left.

"Come on, Greenie." Nick called and I followed him out the door. We walked to the far side of the Glade until we reached a wall covered in names, some were crossed out. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant. I placed my fingers on one of the lines crossing out a name.

"There's so many."

"This is a dangerous place, Greenie." He handed me the small knife he'd been carrying. "But you're here now too, whether you like it or not."

I took the knife from him and was about to start carving my name when the world trembled. A thunder of grinding rock and metal deafened me for a moment. I jerked around in a panic trying to identify the source of the ruckus.  After the initial blast, the sound droned on much quieter. Then I saw movement. My jaw dropped open as I realized that I was looking at. The gaps in the walls, doors, I now realized, were closing. To the right hand side of every gap the entire wall was sliding over.

"How?"

Nick cast the walls a casual glance. "Who knows? But it means the Glade is safe. And that's all I care about."

The doors slammed shut with a force that shook the ground. I turned back to the wall, shocked for the millionth time today.  I mentally added it to my list of things I'd worry about later. With a pathetic smile I realized I couldn't even count all of the things on that list anymore. I shook off the thought and started edging the knife into the rock.

 

That night the group had a huge bonfire. Everyone gathered around in various sized groups laughing, joking, and goofing off. I watched them from a distance and a feeling of contentment settled over me. Maybe this wasn't such a bad life. Despite the unanswered questions, despite the foreboding walls at our backs, despite it all, here was a group of people that had learned to live. I found myself smiling in the light of the fire.

The evening wore on quickly. I was soon exhausted, it felt like I'd spoken to everyone at some point and my mind still reeled from trying to remember names and faces and titles.

The roughhousing took on a organized platform. The boys formed a circle and started wrestling one on one with who I assumed must be the champion. Gally, the Keeper of the builders took on every challenger, usually quickly threw them out of the circle. It was an interesting sight but I was too busy meeting everyone to watch it. Gally seemed to have different plans though, because I was in the middle of a conversation about the animals with a Slicer named Winston, when Gally called out to me.

"Hey Greenie! Come play!"

I turned around. He was challenging me from inside his circle, dancing around lightly. The surrounding boys called out comments.

"Greenie!"

"Leave the girl alone, Gally."

"Show us what you can do, chickadee!"

My gaze found Newt and Nick off to the side, they stood with their arms crossed but were not saying anything. I remembered the deal; I wanted to be just treated like everyone else, after all. I called out over the crowd.

"What? You wanna wrestle me? Are you sure you can handle it, Shank?"

A collective roar of amusement came from the crowd. Gally's face turned down in a scowl.

"Let's see, shall we?"

As soon as I entered the circle, he charged. Instinct took over and the second his hand brushed me I spun out of the way. He had to stumble to stay on his feet. I put myself into a low stance, my hands up defensively. This time he took his time before coming at me, leaving his arms wide so I couldn't dance away. Instead I buckled to the dirt, under his reach, and I popped back up before he could turn. Both my hands shoved into his shoulder blades and he stumbled forward a few steps. Even as he turned back to me I knew I was at a disadvantage. He had an excellent center of gravity; I couldn't make him fall with my strength. He was moving much faster now, eager to get his hands on me. I danced back out of the way every time, until I had a plan.

A giant hand finally caught my shoulder and threw me to the ground; I landed hard on my back. The wind rushed out of my lungs and my eyes watered, but I forced myself to roll over onto my hands and knees. He didn't slow down, but came running over to me. At the last second I rolled towards him, grabbing his leg that was up in the air, his other foot hit me in the head as he crashed to the ground. Blood trickled down my face but I didn't allow him time to recover as I jumped on top of him. One knee pressed down on his shoulder, my one hand immobilizing that arm, my other foot held down his opposite wrist. He bucked underneath my grip, trying to break free. My free hand went to his throat and he froze. I didn't press down or apply any pressure; I merely held my hand there, proving a point.

"I win." I told him, and after a long tense moment, he nodded.

It wasn't until that moment I'd realized the crowd had gone silent. I pulled myself off of Gally and looked around, wiping the blood from my forehead. The crowd erupted with cheers so loud it could have rivaled the doors closing. It seemed everyone wanted to slap my back and yell some sort of encouragement at me. When I could, I looked over my shoulder at Gally. He surprised me by dropping his ever present scowl and nodded in my direction. I got the feeling that we might never be friends, but maybe we didn't have to be enemies either.

Clint, the Med-Jack, led me away from the others. He stood off to the side while a kid named Jeff cleaned my cut and bandaged it. Jeff kept glancing nervously at Clint as if checking for his approval.

"Are you new at this?" I asked.

"Yeah. I've only been here a few months. Clint still treats most of the wounds."

"You're doing fine."

"No, you're doing fine. We patch up people who spar with Gally all the time. But I've never seen anyone do what you just did. Except for the Runners maybe, but they don't usually like to spar, probably use up to much energy during the day."

"Jeff. Bandage first, chat later." Clint chided him and the boy quickly finished the job without another word.

"Thank you, Med-Jacks. How do I look?" I asked touching my bandage in a mock salute.

"Like you just got kicked in the head." Clint said, but he smiled none the less.

After they walked away the question weighed me down like an anchor tied to my chest. I didn't even know what I looked like. I could no more picture my own face than I could anyone else that I may have known before today.

The festivities died down and soon half the boys had fallen asleep on the ground or the logs they'd been sitting on. The Glade filled with sounds of boys snoring, and the coals crackling. Quiet conversations drifted in with the wind passing through the leaves. In the distance bugs and the animals in their pastures called out to each other. The weight of the day settled on my shoulders and my eyes closed unbidden. I fell asleep as a feeling almost like Home filled me.

 

The next morning I woke to a gentle hand shaking my shoulder. "Juliet. Wake up." A quiet voice called, probably meaning to be gentle. I jerked awake so quickly the boy had to fall backwards to avoid being head-butted. My hand was on my knife and my heart thundered in my chest. The blood rushed in my ears as my brain scrambled for information. Finally I remembered that I had nothing to remember and I started breathing again. It looked like everyone had fallen asleep where they'd been hanging out by the bonfire, a few boys were already up and about but for the most part the others still slept in the dim light.

Newt rose to his feet and brushed off his clothes. "Come on. I have to show you something." Even in his whisper I could hear that his tone was tense. I guessed that whatever we were going to see wasn't something pleasant.

A few minutes later, looking through the window at a horrible creature, I was proved right. The Griever slashed at the glass with its mechanical legs, hitting itself against the wall. Even over the huge walls I could hear the echo of it's screams. Finally, I couldn't take the sight of it anymore and I stumbled away, falling backwards until I landed on the dewy ground.

Newt was talking to me but I couldn't hear him. I scrambled away and ran until I reached the Runners' building. Then I fell apart. I pressed my back against the cold stone wall and curled into a ball. The vision of the terrible creature stayed in front of my eyes even when I closed them. Shudders wracked my body and tears burned at my eyes. Fear clenched its fist around my throat and I couldn't breathe. Calm down. Calm down.

But I couldn't. If those creatures were out there, then we really were trapped, we really weren't safe. The peaceful feeling I'd had last night disappeared behind a dense feeling of dread.

It took long minutes for me to start to calm down. Finally Newt found me.

"I'm sorry." He told me, taking a seat beside me. "The Grievers are the most dangerous part of this place. But they mostly only come out at night, and they can't get past the walls into the Glade. It's good for everyone to see them, to know what we're up against. To know why the rules are important."

"Got it. Follow the rules or be ripped apart by a horrible monster. Got it." Even to me my voice sounded hollow and irritable. Beside me, Newt winced.

"I'm sorry. We show every Greenie and-"

"I get it Newt. Really. I'd do the same thing in your position. Just.... Give me a minute." I put my head in my hands and tried to just breathe. When I looked up again, the sky was turning light and activity was starting to buzz around the Glade as everyone woke up.

"I'm fine." I announced, more to myself than to Newt. When I looked over at him it struck me that he was handsome. His sandy hair was longer than most of the boys, his muscles were defined, and his face carried strong eyes that seemed to show every emotion he felt. Once again I remembered the odd question from last night. "What do I look like?"

He looked at me and his frown softened. "I'd guess that you're around 16, maybe 17. You're about five-nine. As you can see your hair is blondish, long and curly." He reached over and tugged on a stand of it that had fallen in front of my shoulder. "Your eyes look green from a distance but up close they're really blue and have a golden line running through them." He paused then looked away. "In general, I guess I'd say that you're beautiful."

I felt the blood rush into my cheeks. I was speechless. For a moment we sat there silently. Then I decided that dwelling on such things wasn't a good idea and I jumped to my feet with a forced laugh. "Well, probably if you'd ever seen another girl in your life you wouldn't be saying that." I offered him a hand up. "Let's get some food. Today is supposed to be the start of my life, you know."

His normally serious eyes sparkled with amusement. "Good that." Newt replied and we walked to where everyone was starting breakfast.

The next few weeks were busy. I spent days with each Keeper, trying out each job within the Glade. There were several things I genuinely enjoyed, like Track-Hoe and Builder and Med-Jack. Though there were few things that I genuinely didn't enjoy. Even when I knew instantly that I wouldn't enjoy whatever we were doing, I followed through and did my best at it.

Soon my couple weeks were up and it was time for the job choosing. I felt like I'd grown accustomed to life here, and that the others were finally getting used to me being here. In general, we all got along fairly well.

The night came when the Keepers gathered to decide where I would be. I ate with a bunch of the guys, too preoccupied to pay attention to their conversations. Finally an older boy, Adam, ran up to me.

"Juliet. The Keepers want to see you." As far as I knew, that wasn't normal; I thought the Keepers decided what job you would have without you being there. But I hurried to the Homestead anyway.

I knocked on the door once before entering. Nick started talking to me before I was even all the way in the room.

"Juliet. Do you know how the choosing usually works?"

"I think so."

"Well, usually the Keepers decide what you're good at, and then they decide who wants to put up with you. But YOU are a problem." The entire room was frowning at me, and I crossed my arms defensively.

"Yeah? What of it?" I asked.

Alby smacked his hand down on the notebook they used to take notes.

"Almost everyone wants you to work for them! We can't even come close to a shucking decision."

"Oh." I knew that that was the closest I'd ever hear to a compliment from Alby. "So what's going to happen?"

"We've decided that you can choose for yourself." Nick said, finally smiling. He took the notebook from Alby and read off the list. "Slicer. Builder. Track-hoe. Med-Jack. Cooks. Even the Baggers. And not one of them willing to back down. You choose." It didn't surprise me that Slopper wasn't on the list; nobody willingly chose to be a Slopper. Runners also didn't count since you had to be elected. That made Newt the only Keeper that hadn't tried to claim me. A small sliver of hurt tried to bury itself in me but I quickly batted it aside. Newt basically worked alone, and he spent most of his time helping the other Keepers anyway. I frowned as I tried to make a decision.

"Make it shucking quick." Alby growled, but I wouldn't be intimidated. I thought back on the last couple weeks, about the work I'd done. I tried to narrow it down to the happiest moment I had. I remembered the smell of freshly tiled earth, the sun on my back. The blisters on my palms from the tools and the weight of a hammer in my hand as I wiped sweat from my forehead. "I think. Ugh... I didn't think I'd get to choose. Sorry, give me a second."

"Well, tell us what you're thinking." Newt said kindly.

"I liked being a Med-Jack, but I'd rather be busy all the time. It comes down to Builder or Track-hoe." Everyone looked at Gally and Zart and they looked at each other. "I think... In between the two I think I enjoyed building more."

"Alright. Then it's official." Nick said formally. "Juliet, from tomorrow on you're a Builder."

Gally stood up and had me repeat the vow. As everyone else had, I promised to follow the rules of the Glade, to look out for each other, and to do my part. It wasn't very long or very formal, but afterwards I felt like a real Glader, like a real part of this place.

As it turned out, I ended up in the fields a great deal of the time anyway. There was a higher demand of work with the Track-hoes than there was with the Builders, as long as the Builders weren't on one of their crazy creating schemes. In no time at all I found myself helping wherever help was needed, which was almost exactly what Newt did, so we ended up working together most of the time. Some days were peaceful, but some days a builder would fall off a roof or a Slicer would get run over by an angry cow. Grievers threatened the Runners, and occasionally fights broke out in the Glade. Kids got sick, and sometimes we couldn't do anything to save them.

Months passed without me even really realizing it. Another kid came up in the Box every month. Each time I was both relieved and disappointed that it was never another girl. Somewhere in the back of my mind I doubted that other girls would have survived out here with all these boys and no answers for anything. And I knew I wouldn't have coddled them if they did show up. No. I made it through because I was strong, because I didn't question the order of things. We never had any answers for why I was the only girl, and after a while, it no longer mattered.

 

I lost track of the time that I'd been in the Glade. Most days I was too busy to worry about it. But I figured I'd been there a little over seven months when Minho approached me.

"Hey, girlie." The nickname grated on my nerves whenever I heard it, and I scowled at him.

"What do you want, Minho?" I asked even as I continued to nail the fence back together. Last night the cows had worked themselves into a frenzy and had knocked down a whole section of their fence. The Builders were at work on the fence, the Slicers had their hands full both trying to keep the live animals contained and cutting up the creatures that had gotten injured in the stampede. And more than a couple kids were upstairs with the Med-Jacks. Today of all days I didn't have time for Minho's prattle.

"Yeah, yeah. Listen. Before the stampede yesterday we had a Gathering. More than a few people have recommended you."

"Recommended me for what?" I asked, then the realization hit me so hard I dropped my hammer. I bolted to my feet and turned to him. "Are you shucking me? I get to be a Runner!?"

"Hold your horses, girlie. I said you were recommended, I still have to test you out first."

I still couldn't stop the smile from coming to my face. "That's awesome!"

"Let's get started then." Minho said and started to walk away. I crossed my arms.

"No."

"What?" He asked flatly, turning back to me.

"I've got a job to do today. And as much as I would like to be a Runner, right now the Glade needs my help doing this, and that comes first." For a second I thought we might get into a fight. Then he smiled.

"Congratulations, girlie. You passed the first test. I'll see you at dawn tomorrow for some real training."

I was too surprised to respond as he jogged away. But I turned back to my work with a grin. All day I worked with an unequaled exuberance and a smile on my face. Part of me was terrified of being a Runner, the Grievers and other threats pressed at my mind, but I was anxious to get out there, to see what was beyond these walls and help everyone get out.

Minho tried really hard to get me to quit, but I happily faced all of his tests and training until he finally agreed that I could be an official Runner.


	2. Chapter 2

Newt was mad at me. I didn't know why exactly, I just knew that every day I went into the Maze, he'd scowl at my back as I'd go. It was frustrating. My feet pounded on the stone as I ran, I shoved all my anger and disappointment into each step. Before I'd become a Runner, Newt had been one of the only people I trusted. But now that we hadn't spoken in weeks I wasn't sure if I'd lost his friendship. I took a break and downed half of my water. My chest heaved at the effort, but pride swelled in me. Each day I could run a little farther, a little faster, take fewer breaks. Each day I felt my body become more of a Runner. There were nine Runners now, and the guys were each taking a break from Running. Right now, Minho would be back in the Glade pouring over the maps with Newt. I scowled to myself. What was that guy’s problem anyway? I told myself that I'd ask Minho if he knew anything about it when I got back. With that thought in mind I turned the next corner and kept running.

"If you want to know what his problem is, ask him." I should have expected that reaction from Minho, it wouldn't be like him to get involved in another shanks business. But it was still annoying.

"Fine."

The next morning I found Newt in the fields before the doors even opened.

"Hey. Can I talk to you?" He kept his back turned to me but continued to work. "It seems like I've upset you." Still no response. Hot anger flashed through me but I refused to give in. "Look. You're important to me. The whole time I've been here you've been one of the few people I felt was on my side. And I'd honestly trust you with my life." He'd grown still but didn't turn around. "So, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry." The doors groaned and started to open. I turned away, already late. "If we never speak again, I want you to know. Having you here gave me strength. Thank you, for being on my side all this time." I started to walk away, just about to run when he called out.

"Jules!"

I stopped so suddenly I nearly fell. He'd never called me that before. No one had. I looked back. Newt had stood and faced towards me. In the dim morning light it was hard to make out his features but the back of his hand covered his mouth and he didn't seem to be looking at me directly.

"Have a good run." The words sounded like he hated them, but at least he'd said something. I raised a hand in a wave.

"I'll be back!" I promised, and then I started running. As I ran into the Maze I couldn't figure out why heart was beating extra hard. But I couldn't afford to be distracted in the Maze, so I dismissed the thought and ran.

 

 

 

Only a month later Newt made my heart beat like that again.

"Hey, Jules," He stopped me at the doors right as they were opening. "When you get back, I have something to show you."

"Really? Is it something good?" We were only just getting used to talking to each other again, so I wasn't sure how my teasing would be taken. Luckily, he just smiled.

"I'm pretty sure you'll like it."

"Alright. Then I'll see you when I get back."

The smile faded as he looked into the Maze. "Yeah." Without a response, I pulled my pack's straps tighter and ran down the corridor. His gaze followed me every step until I turned a corner and was gone from his sight.

A small part of me wanted to find him as soon as I re-entered the Glade. But of course, the maps came first. I was the first one back so I sat on the courtyard in front of the building and stretched out my legs. Then I pulled out my notepad and started drawing. It only took a few minutes and by the time I was done the others had arrived. Minho unlocked the door and I quickly copied my sketch onto a proper paper, double checking it with yesterday's map before putting it away in its chest.

"Done already?" Minho asked as I closed the chest lid.

"Don't worry, slowpoke. I'll spend extra time studying it tomorrow."

"Slowpoke!?!" He raged. I winked at him and then fled before he could get genuinely angry.

Newt was already coming across the courtyard when I exited the building. I quickly jogged over to join him. He gave me a smile that warmed me all the way through. In one hand he was carrying a couple of sandwiches.

"Frypan let you take food early? That's rare." I commented as I came up to him.

"Well, I thought we could have a picnic." His eyes sparkled mischievously and I laughed.

"Isn't that how we always eat?"

"Don't ruin my fun." He complained but started walking away anyway. I quickly matched his stride.

Today felt different; the light banter, his ever present smile; it felt like everything was alright. For today, at least, we were good.

"Here." Newt turned to me, holding up a strip of cloth. It looked like a blindfold.

"What are you planning?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "You said you trust me with your life. A little blindfold should be nothing." I gave him a suspicious look but let him gently wrap the cloth over my eyes. Then his warm hand gripped mine. His hand was rough from work; his grip was strong and steady. I let him pull me along. Being a Runner, I had a good sense of direction, so I knew we passed the fields and circled back around to the far side of the dead heads. Something rustled against my thighs and brushed my free hand as we walked. It felt like wading through long grass. Newt's hand slipped out of my grasp and I heard him take a few steps away.

"Okay."

Slowly, carefully, I reached up and pulled the blindfold away from my face. What I saw caused my breath to catch in my throat and my heart to flutter in my chest.

**_Flowers._ **

Delicate blue flowers spread out in a vast sea all around me. The plants were tall stalks of leafy green topped with bright blue petals. They almost sparkled as the wind rustled through them. My body turned to take in the incredible sight. As I spun around slowly, my fingers went up to my mouth as if holding in my surprise. Gently I let my fingers brush the tips of the flowers. Finally I turned back around to Newt. His crooked grin was full of pride and he held a handful of the flowers out to me.

"Do you like it?"

My feet acted before I could even think, carrying me over to him. A laugh escaped me as I wrapped my arms around him. For a moment he held me in the air.

"It's beautiful." I pulled away just enough to look at him. "How?"

"Remember how you said there wasn't anything beautiful in the Glade?" I nodded, surprised. We must have spoken about that months ago. "Well, I requested it. They sent some seeds up in the box and..."

"You did this just for me?" I asked, suddenly aware that I was still in his arms.

"It's flax." He explained. "It's a grain, so it's useful for everyone. But while it's flowering, yes. It's for you."

Despite the sudden self-conscious feeling in my gut, I smiled.

"Thank you."

We eventually extracted ourselves from the grain and sat beside the field, eating our dinner with quiet conversations until a comfortable silence filled the space between us. I couldn't take my eyes off of the flowers; they waved at me in a beautiful sea of color.

A warm feeling settled in my heart then spread to the rest of me. For the first time since entering the Glade I felt true, genuine contentedness. For now, I couldn't examine that feeling. It was too dangerous here in the Maze. But I thought I knew why Newt had done this for me, and that it must be for the same reason as the feeling of contentment in my heart. Though the words would be dangerous and neither of us dared to speak them, I suddenly found that I had to do something about it.

As the sun set and the flowers started almost changing color in the fading light, I leaned against him. I stretched up and touched my lips against his cheek lightly.

"Thank you." I whispered. Newt's smile could have brought the sun back into the sky. Instead he reached over and put his arm around my shoulders.

"You're welcome, Love." Newt whispered, his voice thick and low. For a long time we stayed like that, with me pressed in beside him, taking in his warmth and strength as a feeling of contentment settled inside my chest.

 

 

After that it became harder to go into the Maze. More and more often I found myself wishing that I would have stayed being a Builder; Stayed in the Glade, stayed by Newt. At the same time, as my feet pounded their way through the Maze, I found that I was grateful for it. The time that I spent in the Glade was mostly spent next to Newt, and the more time I spent with him, the more my heart wanted to burst out of my chest.

It was like those blue flowers had put a seed in my heart and a feeling had taken root there. One that I tried my best to ignore, but the more time I spent near Newt, the more the feeling grew. I knew what the feeling was, of course. But anytime my mind tried to name it I pushed the thought away. There could be no room for anything extra in the Maze.

Getting out became my sole focus.

Find a way out. Have a future.

My feet beat paths into the stone and into my mind. I had to get us all out of the Maze. That was the only thing I could focus on.

"Juliet! Wait up!" I stopped in surprise at the words.

"Minho! What the shuck are you doing? Shouldn't you be running Four today?"

"Nah. Harry is back from break, so he's doing it." He stopped for a moment, putting his hands in his knees, chest heaving. "You're running like you've got a Griever on your tail. Pace yourself, girlie."

My chest was heaving too but no more than usual.

"Maybe you're just slow." I replied, then turned and started jogging away. Behind me I heard him sigh then he was running along beside me.

"I came along because we need to talk."

"Oh. That sounds serious." I teased, but when I looked at him I could see it wasn't a joke. His face turned down with a solemn expression, it really was a strange look on him. "Alright. Actually serious. What's this about?"

"What's going on between you and Newt?" I almost stumbled into the nearest wall at his words.

"What the shuck, Minho? Why do you care?" He was silent for just long enough that I found that I had to answer his question. "Honestly? I don't really know."

We ran together in silence for a long minute before either of us spoke.

"You know... Newt is a good guy. I think.. I think it could be really good. It's pretty obvious that he cares for you. And if I'm being honest I don't think I've seen that shank look as happy as he is with you, maybe ever." He continued to run along even as he spoke. "The thing is. If you don't like him-"

"I like him. Of course, I like him." I interrupted Minho but refused to look at him. "But I'm terrified. I mean, what sort of relationship could we even have here? In the Glade?"

We came to a dead end and stopped. Finally he turned to me.

"I don't shucking know. But I will say this; we're all making the best life we can out of this. We don't know when, or even if, we'll make it out of here. Might as well live life while we can."

It wasn't that I didn't agree with him, but I punched him in the shoulder and said,

"If you shucking tell him about this, I swear..." He backed up a few steps in mock defense.

"Alright. I won't. But you need to decide what you're going to do."

"Yeah."

The rest of the run was mostly silent, only the sounds of the pounding of our feet on the ground and our heavy breaths passed between us. When we were only one turn from getting back to the Glade I hit him in the arm again, this time gently.

"Thanks. For the run. And for the talk. I needed it."

Minho gave a mock salute, his grin wide. "Anytime. What's a Keeper for anyway?"

"Who knows?" I replied easily.

"Ouch. You wound me." He smacked his chest dramatically even as we entered the Glade.

"That's what I was going for." I said, reaching over to hit him again, but he now had the room to dodge out of my reach. As we jogged back to the map room I saw Newt watching us. And I silently promised myself that I would find the time to talk to him about all of these things.

 

But I never got the chance, because a week later I stared death in the face within the Maze.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've enjoyed this being peaceful up until now. I aplogize for that is about it happen.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the screams. I crept up to the next corner, peering around it cautiously. Sure enough, a Griever was there. I almost ran the other way but then I saw what it was doing. It was attacking a boy, who was screaming and trying to get away. I knew the rules, but I couldn't just leave him there. Despite the fear clenching at my throat I pulled my knife out and charged. The Griever didn't see me until the last second, but its tail snapped up with horrifying speed. The long needle sliced into my side but couldn't stop my momentum. With both hands on the hilt of my knife I ran straight into the creature.

The Griever screamed as my knife plunged into its flesh all the way to the hilt. The knife was pulled from my hands as the creature plowed over me. It's tail swept against my ribs, slamming me into the wall. There was a crack and pain jarred up my arm. I stumbled to my feet, ignoring the pain, certain that it would be on me any second. Instead I watched its back disappear around the corner. My knees almost buckled in relief and I had to grab the ivy to keep myself up.

"Juliet?" The ragged voice brought me back to my senses. I looked at the boy on the ground.

"Gally!? What the shuck are-?" The wound on my side flashed pain through me and I fell to my knees. I noticed my hands shaking and realized that I was going into shock. "No. No!" I yelled at myself. I forced myself to take several deep even breaths. My left wrist was starting to swell and turn purple. It looked wrong, like it was turned unnaturally, but at least the pain was helping keep the shock and panic back.

Finally I looked back at Gally. He was hurt bad. He'd been stung and his skin was already taking on a green sickly color. His entire body was covered in scratches and scrapes. But worse than all that, his leg had been badly wounded, a deep gash cut across his skin. Blood was streaked across the ground around him and now it started pooling into a large puddle at his side. Even as I watched his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he lost consciousness.

"Shuck." I swore. I knew I should leave him. He shouldn't even have been out there. I looked at my watch. I'd given myself plenty of time when I started returning, even now if I were alone and were merely walking I could still make it. But I wasn't alone. I forced myself to my feet. "Bloody stupid shank!" I swore at him. Every movement shot pain through me, and stars danced across my vision. With great difficulty, and throbbing pain from my fingers to my shoulder, I managed to cut a vine and tie it around his leg. It helped to stop some of the bleeding, but I knew it wouldn't last.

Then I took off my pack and lengthened the straps. After some struggling I managed to get him onto my back, his arms over my shoulders. Then I slung my backpack on, over both of us. I tightened the straps as much as I could to hold him in place. By the time I'd risen to my feet I was drenched in sweat and out of breath from the effort. The pain in my wrist and my side constantly threatened to numb my mind into nothingness.

"Hurry!" I urged myself. The first few steps were the worst, and then I set off at an almost run. I was lucky my legs hadn't been injured and after the first few steps the momentum and my instincts carried me down the corridors. Thankfully Gally wasn't as heavy as he looked and the pack kept him from shifting much.

The Griever poison started to cloud my mind but I fought it with everything I had. I focused on the route to get home and on moving forward, swearing the whole way. "Ugly shank. Stupid Shuck-faced... Bloody klunk, to be out here... If we don't survive this I'll shucking..." I found that speaking out loud helped keep the pain and the venom from taking over. I didn't let myself slow down for even a step. It felt like I was sprinting but I could feel the minutes trickling past. I was moving barely faster than a walk. Time was running out.

More than once I considered leaving Gally and making a break for it, but then I remembered how he'd looked as he'd called out my name. "Shuck it! If the shucking doors start to close I'm leaving you here, Slinthead." I informed the unconscious boy.

When I finally made the last turn and could see the Glade my legs almost gave out. "Not yet, you shucking legs!" I shouted and continued my staggering run. Blood was streaking down my side from the sting wound and my whole body felt like it was on fire. The snap of the doors starting to close echoed around me, but it was too late to stop me. We were going to make it. I put all my strength into a last burst of speed and hauled us through the doors.

Inside the Glade, boys were running towards us. I managed another five steps, and then collapsed onto the grass. The doors slammed shut with a boom, and for a second the sound kept me conscious. I managed to free myself from the pack and my load, and dragged myself forward a few more feet. Black was creeping in on my vision, but I fought it just long enough to make out Newt's limping run amongst the others rushing towards me. Then I accidentally put my weight on my injured hand, and the pain and darkness pulled me into nothingness.

 

 

The memories came back in flashes. They rushed into my mind like flood waters, and I could do nothing to stop them. My consciousness drifted in and out at the same rate; never enough to hold on to, just enough to be torture.

A horrible scream split the air, pounding into my ears. My throat and chest burned. The small room came back into focus as I finally realized that the horrible wail was coming from me. With a gasp I started breathing again. A weight pressed down against me as my body struggled to get free. Through the haze in my mind I saw that the Med-Jacks were fighting to hold me down. The memories slammed into me with all the weight of familiarity, of truth. **_The Flare. The Scorch. WICKED._**

"NO!" I screamed and got an arm free, smashing one of the boys in the face as I did. Panic settled in my bones and nothing else mattered, I barely noticed my surroundings in my urgency to escape this reality. "No! NOOO!" In the dim light of the lanterns Newt and Nick rushed over to help restrain me. The memories hit me once again, obliterating everything else. "NOOOOOO!" I screamed and fought them like I was fighting for my life. I didn't calm down until the darkness and the memories swallowed me again.

 

Memories, real memories, crashed down on me. I remembered the world, the horrors that infested it and I wanted nothing more than to forget.

I sat up in the bed and heaved over the side as if I could rid myself of these horrors, these truths. But with an empty stomach and a full mind, I couldn't even begin relieve myself of this burden. Terrible visions crowded into my mind, and repulsion convulsed through me.

"Jules." A voice said next to me. It was Newt. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days. I'd never been so glad to see anyone in my whole life.

Suddenly tears rushed down my face and Newt took me in his arms. I sobbed into his chest for a long time. I cried so hard my chest hurt and my throat felt raw. The memories pressed against my mind, like an abandoned child begging for attention. I shoved them away from me as hard as I could. After all that time we all spent being desperate for something, anything, to remember, reality was just too cruel.

"It's alright. It's okay. I've got you. I've got you." Newt's voice broke through the memories and filled me with warmth. I clutched his shirt and tried to focus only on him, blocking out everything else. His muscular arms cradled my back. Under my fingers his warm chest moved up and down with each breath. I focused on the sound of his voice and tried to match my breathing to his. The memories started to fade like they had when I first arrived here, but this time I was grateful for them to go. At the same time, I knew I could never fully forget what I'd seen, what I'd remembered.

Eventually my crying quieted to hiccups and sniffles. Newt continued to hold me and rub my back, but stopped saying his calming words. Finally I got the courage to push away from his reassuring grasp.

"I'm sorry." The words scraped out of my raw throat.

"What did you see?" Newt asked me but I turned away from him. I shook my head hopelessly. I couldn't talk about it. The only thing knew with absolute certainty was that I would never talk about it.

"Newt." Clint put his hand on Newt's shoulder and pulled him away. Newt didn't protest as he was pushed out of the room. Clint sat down in front of me on the room's only chair. His face was solemn but he demanded no answers. "Look here." He told me and passed a flashlight in front of my eyes. He checked the wound in my side, but I could tell it was already healing well. He made me move each of my fingers and even though it burned like fire in my bones, he nodded like he was satisfied. Somehow, it hadn't broken, and it seemed it would be back to normal sooner than I thought possible.

"What..." My throat was still raw, but after drinking the water he handed to me I tried again. "Gally?"

"The shank made it. Thanks to you. He woke yesterday, but he won't be walking anytime soon." Clint reported, with a barely concealed disdain.

"How long was I out?"

"Little over four days. You'd have been awake sooner if you didn't push your body over the edge trying to carry that shuck-face back."

"Thanks, Clint." I said, trying to get up. He gave me a hand even as he told me,

"Listen. You saved his life. He told us the story yesterday how you actually attacked a Griever. You must be insane. But... Well, he's grateful. You should go see him."

I shook my head. "Maybe tomorrow. Is Newt still nearby?"

I hadn't even finished the question when Newt pushed the door open. "You shouldn't be getting up yet." He told me and Clint moved so Newt could take his place at my side.

"I need out of here." I told him and after a moment he nodded. We left Clint behind as Newt helped me down the rickety stairs and outside. It was about midday, but must have been after lunch since no one was around. I took in a couple deep breaths of the fresh air. Ever since I woke up in the Box, the heat from the sun had been a comfort to me. But not today. The sun's heat warmed my skin, but instead of feeling refreshed, I shivered. As I glanced up at the sky so many questions filled my mind. Then I shook my head. I couldn't let myself think about it. It hurt too much. I looked back at the Glade and tried to remember all the good things, all the pieces of the life we'd made here.

"I'm okay." I said out loud. It must not have been very convincing because Newt merely frowned. "Is there food?" He relaxed a little at that and we made our way over to get some leftovers from lunch. I couldn't bear to talk to anyone yet so Newt got us the food. We went and sat at the base of the same tree we'd sat under the day I'd arrived here. Unlike that day, the mood was heavy and I barely nibbled at my food.

"I lost my knife." I told him finally, looking over to see that he was staring at me with concern.

"We'll get you a new one." After a pause he almost asked, "Gally says you shoved it into a Griever."

"I did." I said calmly, looking back up at the sky. Compared to the memories I now had, attacking a Griever almost seemed normal. I flexed my inured hand, it was already starting to feel better now that there was blood moving through it. Finally I asked. "What was he doing out there anyway?"

"Bloody shank got it into his head to prove himself." Anger flashed in his voice. His anger reminded me of the severity of what Gally had done.

"Will he be punished for breaking the rules?"

"We were waiting for you to wake up to have a Gathering to decide."

"Me? Why?"

"Because you're the one his decision affected the most. It's largely up to you what will happen to him."

I didn't want the responsibility but I nodded. That was all a part of the order that the Glade thrived on, after all.

We sat in silence for a long time. Finally I stopped stretching my fingers and closed my eyes. No matter the questions I had about the world around me and even the sun itself, it's warmth still soothed me. I listened to the sounds of the Glade; the wind rustling through the trees and grass, the conversations of boys far away, the sounds from the animals, and the striking of tools in use. The wind carried a scent along with the noise. Wood, fresh earth, the crops, even the various smells of the livestock; in that moment it smelled of hard work and home. Beside me Newt let out a relieved sigh. I opened one eye and saw him smiling.

"You smiled." He told me. "That's the first smile I've seen from you in days."

I smiled again, it was easier this time. "I've been asleep for days."

"It still counts." Then he looked away as he muttered. "I was bloody worried, you know."

"You act like you were with me the whole time." The teasing comment made his cheeks turn red. Suddenly the truth of the statement dawned on me. "You didn't have to do that. They gave me the serum. You had to know I'd be fine."

When Newt looked back at me his eyes were full of emotion. He reached over and took my good hand gently. The motion was different than it had been the few other times he'd held my hand. It was smooth, practiced, and I realized then that he'd probably been holding my hand the whole time I'd been going through the Changing. I knew how horrific it was to watch someone go through the Changing. No wonder there was pain in his eyes.

"I had to be there. To be sure."

"I'm okay." I told him gently squeezing his hand. But that was all I could do.

"I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you. You're the one good thing about this place." There was a truth there, one I still wasn't ready to face. I was still hurting too much to try to help fix the pain he'd been facing.

"There are a lot of good things about this place." I told him abruptly, then I forced my voice to soften. "But you don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere." Not if I can help it, I added in my head. Still, the words seemed to reassure him.

"Are you going back into the Maze?" He asked, his eyes concerned.

"I- I don't know." I wasn't afraid of the Grievers, not really. But going back out there meant that I was helping get us out of here, and right now, I didn't know if I wanted that. "I really don't know." I whispered. He squeezed my hand again.

"The Runners will be back soon. We should get ready for the Gathering."

Even when we got up he kept my hand in his. We walked across the Glade to the Homestead and he didn't stop holding my hand until we reached the doors. My mind still ached, my soul felt weighed down by what I'd seen and gone through. In the midst of that feeling, Newt's strong hand anchored me to reality, holding me fast when it felt like the despair in my heart might just wash me away. At some point in our walk across the Glade I became used to that touch. When his hand finally released mine, for a small moment, it felt like I lost a piece of myself.

"Do you want to talk with Gally before we meet?"

I shook my head and his mouth turned down in a serious frown. It was obvious that he thought he knew what I'd recommend to the Keepers. I didn't give him the chance to ask, and I didn't wait for the others to enter before I did, as would have been proper. Instead I threw open the door and walked inside.

I sat down in one of the chairs without even bothering to look at the others who'd already shown up. No one tried to talk to me, not until Minho arrived. Minho was the last one to enter, his chest heaving and his face flushed like he hadn't even stopped at the map room before coming here.

"One minute, guys." Minho said, then he grabbed my good wrist and I let him pull me outside. Once we were out the doors he turned to me, placed his hands on my shoulders, and stared at me intently. "Juliet. Are you alright?" The seriousness in his eyes surprised me.

"I..." I had planned to lie but other than Newt, Minho was the best friend I had. We'd spent countless hours together training and talking. I found couldn't lie to him, especially not in the face of his serious expression. "No. Not really."

He surprised me again by pulling me into a hug. For an awkward moment I didn't know what to do. Then I returned his hug by wrapping my arms around him. Instantly, I felt better. Minho's arms were strong and steady. They held me with an easy assurance that was safe and familiar.

"Thank you." I whispered and he pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"No." I shook my head. "It's fine. We were all doing our jobs. You couldn't have been there."

"Still-"

"Minho. There's nothing you could have done. Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm... I'm alive. And I will be fine. I just need some time." The boy nodded his head without meeting my gaze. "Come on, Boss," I said, forcing a grin. "We have a meeting to get through." I put my arm around his shoulders easily and lead him back to the doors. My fake smile seemed to make him feel better because he smiled back at me, and then opened the door dramatically for me. I rolled my eyes at him before going back inside.

As we re-entered the Homestead, Gally was being helped down the stairs. He hopped along on one leg supported on either side by the Med-Jacks. I hurried inside the meeting room before he could notice me; I still wasn't ready to face him.

After Gally was sitting, Jeff left and the gathering got started. Nick looked at us seriously, more serious than I'd ever seen him be.

"This Gathering is about the events that occurred in the Maze four days ago. Gally, you go first. Tell us what happened."

Gally started his story with already being in the Maze, not mentioning why he was out there. He explained the Griever coming around the corner and attacking him and how I'd come along and saved him. His story was short and everyone nodded like they'd heard the story before. Then it was my turn.

"I was on my way back for the day. Everything seemed perfectly normal, until I heard the screams." I explained to them how I'd found Gally and the Griever. How I'd taken my knife and charged the creature, and how I'd gotten stung. I told them about wrapping Gally's leg and using the pack to attach him to my back. I ended my story with how I'd passed out in the Glade. I refused to mention the Changing, and the terrible memories I'd gotten back because of it.

After that, the Keepers got to have their say. There were various suggestions for punishing Gally, a suggestion that I be punished for not following the rules and abandoning him, and a few suggestions that I be rewarded or made a Keeper.

Gally was given his chance to defend himself, but he merely admitted that he'd been wrong and foolish. He kept glancing at me and I couldn't help but wonder if he would have defended himself better if I hadn't been there.

Finally it was my turn to speak again.

"Gally was an idiot to go into the Maze. He broke the rules." I paused and met Gally's gaze. He stared at me as if certain what my judgement would be. "But there's no point in punishing him any further as an example to the others. What happened is already proof enough as to why we have the rules. I don't think any of the shanks out there would be stupid enough to want to go into the Maze after what happened. He certainly won't be trying that again. As for me," I paused to glance around the room, still deciding on my own judgement. Finally my eyes met with Newt and the decision was suddenly obvious. "I'd like to resign as a Runner as soon as a replacement can be found."

The room was painfully silent for a long moment. Finally Nick responded.

"Will you continue to run until a replacement is elected?"

"Yes."

"You do know that it can take months for a new Runner to be chosen."

"Yes. I remember my vow. I won't shirk my responsibility. I'll run. As long as there are only eight of us, I'll run. But when another Runner is elected, I'm done. I'll go back to being a builder or something."

Deep silence covered the gathering for long moments. Then Minho sighed loudly.

"I guess I should be grateful that you're not quitting as of today, but it still sucks."

His comment returned the tension in the room back to normal.

Quickly they voted. Gally wasn't punished, but they choose not to give him any special treatment as he healed either. He'd be given only the barest of meals and would be back to work as soon as he could hobble along in his own. I'd been half expecting them to take away his title as Keeper, but with no suitable replacement available they didn't even do that. And everyone agreed that it was reasonable for me to continue to run until a replacement was found. With those things settled, the Gathering ended. I was the first one gone from the room; I avoided everyone and wandered to a secluded corner of the Glade.

As seemed to always be the case, it was Newt who eventually found me. Silently he took my hand in his and soon I was fast asleep.

 

The next day I was back upstairs so Clint could redo the bandage on my wrist. The pain had subsided a lot already and I had most of the range of motion back. Clint wrapped it up so it was supported and instantly it felt better.

"You'll be fine in a few days. I'm more worried about your ribs." I pulled up my shirt enough so he could check the wounds. "The sting didn't hit anything important, and the wound is mostly healed already. Your ribs are bruised, but I don't think any are cracked. You got lucky. There's no other way to say it. Just give it a few days, at least." Clint nodded with authority then indicated I could lower my shirt again. As he opened the door so I could leave, Gally called out from the next room.

"Juliet?"

"Yeah, Gally?"

"I need to talk to you, will you come in here? Please?" Until that moment I'd never thought of Gally as being pathetic, but now his voice sounded weak and strained. Against my better judgement I went and sat down next to his bed.

"You... I..." Tears welled up in his eyes as he struggled to find the words.

"What were you doing out there, Gally?"

"I thought..." He trailed off and I suddenly found that I didn't actually care.

"How's your leg?" I said instead.

"Clint says it'll be fine in a few weeks. Hurts like shuck." We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes then he started to ask, "Can we talk abo-"

"No!" I rose to my feet. "No. The Changing, the memories. No. We can't talk about it. I'll never talk about it. I'm just trying to forget."

"But if that's how it really is out there..."

"Stop it, Gally. I am not talking about this. Not ever." I walked away. But as I reached the door I paused and looked over my shoulder. "I'm glad you're going to be okay. Just... Forget it, okay? Just focus on getting back on your feet. I'll... I'll see you around." Despite myself I still stopped when he called my name.

"Juliet? Thank you. I owe you my life. I'll find some way to pay you back. I promise." I managed to give him a smile over my shoulder and then I was gone.

Once I was outside I stretched, it was still midmorning and the Glade buzzed with activity. Clint had told me that I need to take it slow for a few days before I'd be able to run the Maze again, but I needed to see my limits for myself.

I ran. I didn't go out into the Maze, but I went to the nearest wall and then followed it around the Glade. Pain seared up my side and into my chest, my limbs felt heavy and weak. The weight of the knife and pack I always carried weren't with me but I still felt weighed down. I only made it one and a bit times around the Glade before I had to stop.

Ragged breaths tore at my lungs and I had to lean against the wall to stay on my feet. The ivy pressed into my back as I stretched out my injured hand. It took long moments to get my breathing back under control.

As I did, a familiar clicking sounded above me. A Beetle Blade skittered in the ivy just above me. Seething anger flashed through me. The knowledge I now had about WICKED, about everything, hit me once again. Suddenly, I needed to do something about it. All I wanted was to grab that shucking robot and tear it apart. Everything else, even the pain, suddenly disappeared behind my anger. I was halfway up the ivy before I even knew it. I had to support myself more with my legs to compensate for my hurt wrist, but it didn't hinder my progress much. Twice I got close enough to touch the thing before it escaped. I just kept climbing higher with a single focus, not even realizing what I was doing.

"JULES!"

The scream erased my anger in an instant, and I looked down. Newt was staring up at me from far below. Until that moment what I'd been doing hadn't really occurred to me, but suddenly the height made me feel lightheaded and I pulled myself closer to the wall. The other Gladers had stopped what they were doing to glance at me curiously, but Newt must have run over. How he'd gotten there so fast, I had no idea. His hands clutched at the ivy at the foot of the wall. Even from where I was I could see the desperation on his face.

"Jules, please. You gotta come down." His voice was shaking. All at once tears spilled from my eyes and I had to jerk my gaze away from him as I continued to cling to the ivy on the wall. Still he pleaded with me, "Juliet. Please."

Off to the side the Beetle Blade clicked at me and for a second I wanted to make a wild dive at it. But the irrational anger was already fading.

"Yeah. Okay." I replied to Newt, though I wasn't sure if he heard me. Slowly I made my way back down the wall. It was harder to go down now that I was more aware of the pain in my hand.

When I was still a few feet from the ground Newt's arms grabbed me and pulled me down the rest of the way to him. He didn't even let my feet touch the ground as he pulled me into a fierce hug. He clung to me with a desperation I didn't completely understand, but I knew was important.

"I'm sorry." I put my arms around his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He was trembling and when he finally looked at me there were tears running down his face. "I'm sorry." I repeated, my own tears choking out the words. Finally he put me down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Newt cut me off by pressing his lips against mine.

His kiss was strong and unapologetic, but somehow still gentle. And it lasted only a moment. When he pulled away his eyes searched mine desperately.

"Don't ever do something like that again. Promise me!"

"I won't."

"I can't lose you. I can't."

I made my voice as gentle as I could for my reply, "Newt. I get it. I'm sorry. I won't do anything like that again, I promise." His grip on me relaxed but he was still trembling. After a minute he let go and his legs gave out. I knelt down beside him and he sighed.

"That really scared me." I didn't know what to say so I placed my hand on his. When he spoke again his voice was serious. "When... A bit over a year ago, I climbed to the tallest spot of ivy I could find and... I jumped." He told me. Realization hit me and I clasped a hand to my mouth. "Until you got here I hated this place. I tried to kill myself. And instead I just busted my leg and made myself useless. I..." Tears slid down his face as he looked at me. The things I wanted to say died on my tongue as I looked into those eyes. "You arrived here and were so strong, so full of hope. Being the only girl, you had more to face than anyone. No one truly likes being here, most of the boys still cry in their sleep, but not you. You smile when you're working, and when you're talking, and when you're alone. You seem to genuinely enjoy life. After you came I started thinking that maybe it would be okay. That maybe, whether or not we get out of here, maybe it's okay to just live. You became my hope. I can't lose you." He repeated. I vaguely realized that I'd never heard him speak so much all at once. Just as I'd never seen him cry. Gently I reached up a hand and brushed his tears away.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I was being selfish. It won't happen again." Gently he took my hand and brought it up to his lips. When he peered over my fingers at me his eyes had never been deeper or harder to read.

"I think..." For a moment he hesitated, then, in a rush, he pronounced, "I think I love you." Heat sprouted from my heart and raced all the way from my ears to my toes.

"That's good," I laughed out the words, tears once again spilling out of my eyes. "Because I think I love you too."

Newt kissed me again then; strong and gentle and full of emotion. Even after he pulled away my eyes stayed closed for a long moment as I tried to memorize the feeling. When I opened my eyes Newt was looking at me with his head tilted to the side, a crooked smile on his lips.

I brushed away my tears with an embarrassed laugh. "We're a mess."

Newt laughed; his voice deep and rich. "Yeah. But now you can be my mess and I'll be yours."

"Good that." I agreed and contentment laced inside me. My gaze wandered over to the other Gladers, many of whom were glancing over at us as they continued to work. I thought we were too far away for them to really have seen what happened but it was still embarrassing to have an audience. "Should we head back?" I asked, nodding my head toward the others.

"In a minute." Newt replied, then he scooted around to sit next to me. His warm hand encircled mine and I leaned back against the cushion of ivy. After a moment he leaned his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. I carefully memorized the way his warmth felt along my side, how the weight of him leaning against me was somehow reassuring. And the way his hair tickled at my cheek and my neck.

I looked up at the blue sky and promised to sear this moment into my heart. I wanted nothing more than this. And even though I knew it wasn't possible, for just a moment, I wanted nothing to change.

I had no idea just how soon this peaceful existence would end.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finally arrives?  
> By the way- anytime from now that you see the writing in bold it is from Thomas' persepctive.

Merely five months later I stood in the Deadheads with Newt by my side.

"It's my fault." I whispered as I stared at the Baggers who were writing Nick's name above his grave.

Newt spoke, his voice strong and determined. "No. It's not."

"It's because I didn't want to be a Runner anymore that he went back out there. There has to be eight Runners. It's my fault." Nick had temporarily taken over my position while a new Runner was being chosen. Nick had been a Runner until he'd been elected as the leader of the Gladers, so he'd known what to do. The two of us had switched positions twice in the past few months, just to give each other a break until they decided who the new Runner would be.

"Jules." He said, taking my hand. "Nick knew what was out there and he went anyway. No one forced him to go back out into the Maze."

I knew he was right, but it still felt like I'd been punched in the gut. They'd found Nick's body this morning. We'd already had a gathering to transfer power around. Alby took over Nick's position as leader, Newt was now the second in command, and I'd been given Newt's former role as Keeper of the Map-Makers.

"And now Minho has had to start training Ben to be a Runner, even though we all know that he's not ready to be put in danger like that." Ben was a builder, he was a good kid but had only been in the Glade for a few months, he still didn't understand how bad it was.

"That's not your fault either." He spoke directly to my concerns, but seemed to sense that it wasn't enough. Finally he reached over and pulled me in front of him. He wrapped his arms around me, bending down to rest his chin on my shoulder. His touch comforted me and I finally started to relax. I had to change the subject or I feared I might cry.

"Have you noticed the change in Gally?"

"No one is ever the same after going through the Changing, but, yeah. I think we've all noticed. I kind of figured you hadn't though, you seem to be the only one able to put up with the bloody shank nowadays." I turned in his embrace as best I could so I could look at him.

"Is that jealousy, I hear?"

His lips brushed across my cheek. "Of that shank? No way."

I turned further until my lips meet his. When we drew apart I said, "Let's go back. I need to be busy or I'm going to go insane."

 

A few weeks later, a new arrival came up that changed everything. The boys typically liked to take some time off to greet the Greenie. I preferred to stay busy and stay out of the way for a few days. Especially after what happened with Steve half a year ago. As everyone gathered around the Box, I took a quick break. I wiped my forehead with the back of my arm, only managing to mix dirt with the sweat instead of wiping it away.

"Is it a girl?" I called out to the crowd like I always did.

"Nah, just some ugly shuck-face."

I waved my reply and turned back to my work, thinking it was all perfectly normal. Though I felt sorry for the kid, letting Alby be the first person he met was probably cruel. But he'd have Chuck helping him, so he'd figure it out.

It all seemed like any other month. When I actually saw the new Greenie however, I knew that couldn't be more wrong.

 

**In the sea of boys surrounding Thomas an unmistakably feminine voice called out.**

**"Is it a girl?"**

**Thomas' eyes immediately turned to find the source of the voice. Finally he saw her, standing easily by a wheelbarrow, a vaguely amused smile on her face.**

**"Nah, just some ugly shuck-face." Someone called back. The girl waved nonchalantly and went back to pushing the wheelbarrow which was full of wood scraps. Her blonde hair was tied back and there were dirt smears on her arms up to her elbows. On one side of her belt hung a wicked looking knife, and on the other was a hammer. Her wrist was covered with a large black wristwatch and Thomas realized that a few of the boys had one too. That detail seemed out of place with the rest of what he was looking at. Like it was too modern to fit in here.**

**-**

**Thomas was frustrated that he couldn't get any straight answers out of Chuck, finally he settled on a different topic.**

**"What's with the girl?"**

**"You mean Juliet? Yeah, she's pretty cool. I guess you'd say she's Newt's girlfriend. She works hard, and is even nice to Sloppers like me. Scary as nothing else when she wants to be though." He told Thomas.**

**"It seems odd that she'd be here. Did any guys try... you know?"**

**"Yeah. I heard one did. Once. I heard he woke up with a bloody gash on his head and was banished the next day." Chuck laughed like the ominous words were a completely happy thing. "But that guy shouldn't have been surprised. She doesn't let anyone touch her." Thomas raised an eyebrow and Chuck nodded with a grin. "Not even Newt."**

**"How would you know?"**

**"I heard them once." He leaned over like he was telling a secret but his voice was as loud as ever. "They were out in the trees and apparently things got a little steamy because she said," his voice got high pitched in a bad imitation of a girls voice. "'Stop. We can't do that, not here. Not in the Maze.'"**

**Suddenly a long metal blade was against Chuck’s cheek. Thomas jumped back in surprise and Chuck bit back a yelp. Juliet looked positively evil, her eyes glistening dangerously as she leaned down to speak directly into the kid's ear. "You got a death wish, Chuckie? ’Cuz I'd be happy to oblige." The color drained out of Chuck's face. Thomas could see the blade pressing against the kids' pudgy cheek and was surprised it wasn't drawing blood.**

**"No, ma'am." Chuck's voice squeaked out the reply.**

**"Shouldn't you be getting to work, anyway?" She asked as she drew the knife away.**

**"Yes, Ma'am." The boy practically flew to his feet and scurried off. Thomas was surprised that Juliet's expression turned soft. A gentle smile lit her face as she watched Chuck hurry away.**

**When the girl finally looked at Thomas, her eyes widened for just a second. It was a look of surprise, of recognition even. Then her eyes narrowed and her mouth turned down with a suspicion that reminded him of the look that boy, Gally, had given him. "As for you, Greenie. Just because Chuck has shuck to say about something, doesn't make it any of your business."**

**Then she turned around and made her way to Newt, saying something to him in low tones. Newt smiled with pleasure like Thomas hadn't seen from anyone in the Glade. Then the tall boy leaned down and gave the girl a quick kiss before heading towards Thomas.**

**"You ready, Greenie?"**

**"Are there any other girls here?"**

**"No. Just Juliet. She got here about a year ago." Newt followed Thomas' gaze over to Juliet then his voice took on a threatening edge. "And she's mine. Got it?"**

**"Yeah. Yeah, I got it." Thomas let his gaze linger on her for another moment, until her eyes met his and the same suspicion flashed across her face, and he looked away.**

I knew his face. The memories I tried to ignore suddenly all surfaced at the sight of him. Instantly I pushed them away, I refused to remember, not even in the face of this boy. When I turned and met Gally's eyes I saw that he knew the same thing I did. I shook my head subtly and he scowled but turned away.

The next morning I was out the doors with the Runners. I ran faster than I ever had, the new Greenie's face seemed to chase me through the Maze. All I knew is that something was going on, and I couldn't afford to take my eyes off the kid. I took only one quick water break and by the time I returned my body was pushed to its limit. However, as I entered the Glade I knew I'd made the right choice. The Newbie alarm was going off, only a day after delivering the latest Greenie. I continued to run over to the Box. As I joined the others, I saw the Greenie in the crowd. It couldn't be a coincidence.

"What is it?" Adam called out.

Finally, I saw Newt at the front of the crowd. He turned and met my eyes.

"It's a girl." The instant he said the words I was shoving boys out of my way, pushing my way to the front of the crowd. When I got there Newt continued. "That's not all. I think she's dead." I didn't hesitate to leap down into the Box. It seemed he was right. She was very distinctly a girl, with long black hair, and tiny features. And she was unmoving, not even a breath passed through her lungs. I couldn't make out a heartbeat, though it was hard to tell over the ruckus the boys were making.

The girl turned out to not be dead. But in the days that followed I saw enough death that one more person hardly mattered anymore.

 

 

**"It's a girl." Newt called, and in between the cat calls and the crude comments, Juliet shoved her way to the front of the crowd. "That's not all." He frowned as his gaze met hers, "I think she's dead." A stony silence covered the group but she didn't hesitate to jump down into the Box next to Newt and Alby.**

**She tried to find a pulse then shook her head. "I can't tell. Let's get her out of here." The three of them managed to hand the girl up to the others and she was laid in the grass.**

**After the girl proved to be alive and she passed out again, the Med-Jacks and Juliet carried her back to the Homestead.**

 

**"Shouldn't you be in there, caring for her?"**

**"The Med-Jacks have the situation well in hand, Greenie." The girl continued to lean on the building easily as if there wasn't a care in the world.**

**"But-"**

**"You ask a lot of questions, don't you Greenie? I help the Med-Jacks occasionally, but I have a rule. I never help when someone is going through the Changing. So as long as Ben is up there, I'm not. Don't worry your head about it. They'll get her fixed right up." Then her gaze wandered from him in an almost dismissive gesture.**

**-**

**"Hey, Winston!" The girl called from behind them. Juliet walked into the slaughter house, not even slightly phased by the bloody mess. She stepped over a pool of blood and leaned down to scratch the old dog, Bark's, ears.**

**"Hey, Juliet." Winston called back, not bothering to stop cutting the hog apart.**

**"I'm headed to get some timber so I'll be gone the rest of the day. Is there anything you need before I go?"**

**Finally the Slicer looked up, and they exchanged an extremely quick conversation that Thomas could barely follow. The old dog pressed up against her as if she was his favorite thing, and Thomas couldn't blame the dog as Juliet continued to pet his head lightly.**

**"Actually, the rooster is harassing Fry again." Winston replied to her question.**

**"Again? I can't take my eyes off you guys for two seconds. I'll grab him."**

**"And. A kid is limping, but his mama won't let anyone get close, you wanna take a look?"**

**"Sure. The tan kid?"**

**"The spotted one."**

**"Do you want me to take the Greenie? He's looking a little green around the gills." They both eyed Thomas for a second then Winston nodded.**

**"You better, I don't want to have to call the Sloppers in here."**

**"Come on, Greenie." Juliet said, and then she sauntered away. The conversation had happened so fast that Thomas hadn't had time to figure out what they were talking about, but he was just happy to get out of there so he followed her.**

**She wandered over to the kitchens first, barely pausing to speak with the Keeper.**

**"Hey, Fry! Heard we're having rooster for dinner."**

**The hairy cook just rolled his eyes and jutted his thumb upward. "If you don't get the shucking thing off my roof there's a good chance." His words were emphasized by a rooster's loud crow. Juliet just chuckled and kept going.**

**"What are we doing?" Thomas finally asked.**

**"Our Rooster likes to roost here instead of at the blood house. Stupid creature can't get himself back down once he's up there though."**

**Her suspicion of him from the first time he'd met her had seemed to disappear so Thomas pursued his questions. "Are you a Slicer?"**

**"Nah, I just help out from time to time. Hold this ladder steady, I'll be right back."**

**From his vantage point Thomas couldn't see what happened, but after a rooster crow and a brief sound of frantically flapping wings, Juliet reappeared. The bird was tucked under her arm and it looked rather pleased with itself. Juliet clambered down the ladder easily, even with the large bird under her one arm. When she reached the ground she took Thomas' hand in hers and wrapped it around the rooster’s feet.**

**"Here you go." As soon as she released the bird it tried to escape, flailing all over the place with an angry crow. Juliet deftly flattened its wings to its sides and pushed it into the crook of Thomas' arm. Instantly the bird settled down, seeming perfectly happy.**

**"How did you do that?"**

**"This guy is a real slinthead, but he's also a big love bird." She patted the rooster on the head once and then led the way back to the front of the kitchens.**

**"One rooster captured." Juliet called, leaning in the doorway. Frypan turned around with a gruff looking smile.**

**"Sometimes I think you put him up there just for this." The cook tossed something over to her and she caught it easily.**

**"Now, would I do that?" Her voice danced with mirth and the boy merely scoffed. Then they turned away without another word to each other. Thomas trailed after Juliet, the rooster still under his arm. He was getting more confused by the second. This girl was an absolute mystery, maybe even more than the rest of this confusing place.**

**"Here you go, helper." She broke the thing Frypan had tossed to her and slid a piece into his free hand, popping another piece into her mouth. Thomas stared at the small square in his hand.**

**"Chocolate?"**

**"Surprising, isn't it? Eat it before it melts." He did and he felt his eyes widen in surprise.**

**"It's great!"**

**"Good that. Frypan is a genius in that kitchen of his. Just don't tell him I said so."**

**Thomas savored the flavor for a moment as they walked to the blood house.**

**"So..." He said just to fill the void. Juliet glanced over at him, an amused smile danced on her features.**

**"Are those slintheads still not telling you Greenies anything? These boys don't get to have a lot of fun, so they take joy from torturing the newest Greenie for a few days. They don't mean anything by it."**

**Juliet seemed pretty easy going and willing to talk so Thomas finally asked, "Do you know why this is happening to us?"**

**"Do you?" When he met her eyes, all of the humor he'd seen there earlier was gone. Her eyes were calculating, like she was weighing how much of a threat he was. The change took his breath away.**

**"I don't know anything." Thomas said the words defensively and for a second she almost looked disappointed.**

**"I knew letting Alby have first crack at the Greenies was a bad idea. You're still all confused even after the tour. But I suppose that's the way of things." She tossed her blonde hair to one side as she sighed. "What's your name, Greenie?"**

**"Thomas."**

**"Alright, Thomas, do you remember ice cream?"**

**The abrupt change in subject surprised him. "Yeah."**

**"What's your favorite flavor?" A chill passed through him as he realized he didn't know.**

**"It's weird how it works, yeah? You feel like half of your brain is missing, the half that had all the important bits. Same story for all of us. No one here has any more of an idea than you. You want to know about the Glade, the Maze, the Rules, we can tell you about all that. Anything outside of this place..." For a second something flashed across her expression, something that sent shivers down his spine. "We don't know a single thing."**

**They arrived at the chicken coop and Juliet freed him of his feathery burden, releasing the rooster back among the hens. After telling Thomas to stay put she vaulted over one of the fences. Thomas watched as the girl made her way through the animals who didn't seem to mind her being there at all. She spoke to the animals quietly, and although Thomas couldn't make out her words he could tell her tone was reassuring.**

**"What are you staring at, Greenie?" Newt came up behind Thomas, his voice somehow managed to sound friendly and threatening at the same time.**

**"Hey, Newt. I was just helping Juliet..."**

**"Yeah, you look like you're helpin'." Newt scowled and Thomas held up his hands. But before he could explain Winston walked up along the fence.**

**"Oh, stop bugging, Newt. You know going in that fence is asking for a goat head in the spine." Thomas looked back into the pen and couldn't see what Winston meant. The goats milled around easily, wandering up to and braying at Juliet, and she responded with gentle words and a pat to each one's head.**

**"It doesn't look so dangerous." His comment had both boys laughing dryly. Newt shook his head and Winston said,**

**"Trust us. We've all suffered more than a few bruises in there. She's different. The creatures actually like her for some reason."**

**Juliet found the injured goat and leaned down to investigate. As she did, a larger goat snorted and pawed at the ground. Juliet didn't look alarmed, but she stopped what she was doing and turned to the angry mama goat. She took something from her pocket and offered it to the goat who snapped it down after only a moment of hesitation. Juliet kept one hand on the flank of the mama goat, while the other hand reached down and skimmed across the kid's legs. When the kid cried out, the older goat shook with rage but didn't try to charge. When Juliet was satisfied she released them both and walked back over to the three boys. She gave her report even as she approached.**

**"Looks like the kid got rammed by one of the others, there's a bruise and fair sized cut, but it isn't infected and it will probably be fine in a few days."**

**"Thanks for checking." Winston called back, still watching the animals.**

**Thomas had seen Juliet vault over the fence easily only a few minutes ago, but she didn't even try to do that this time. She took her time climbing over the fence until she was about halfway up, then Newt reached over the fence and lifted her over with his strong arms. The two held on to each other for a moment longer than necessary before they let go.**

**The tall boy smiled down at the girl, his joy still surprised Thomas, none of the others seemed like they even could smile like that.**

**"What project are you on now?" Newt asked her.**

**"Collecting deadfalls. You?"**

**"Came to see if the Slicers needed help, but you beat me to it. I think collecting deadfalls might be next on my list too." The girl smiled up at the tall boy as if she didn't believe a word he said, but liked the words anyway.**

**"Winston. Don't be too hard on the Greenie." Juliet said as the couple started to walk away. The sentence was probably supposed to be nice but it somehow sounded dismissive. As the two walked away Newt reached down and took Juliet's hand in his.**

**Only a while later Winston let Thomas go, and he found himself, by some sick fascination headed for the deadheads that he'd heard about earlier.**

**-**

**After the banishing Thomas often caught Juliet frowning at him. When she came over to ask Zart if the track-hoes needed anything, she gave him the same hard look. As she walked away Thomas jumped up and chased after her.**

**"Do you have a problem with me?" Juliet snapped around to him, anger in her expression. The look in her eyes was so frightening he automatically took a step back from her.**

**Then she sighed and the anger in her eyes softened a bit. "Maybe I do, now that you mention it." For a second he thought she might not explain but finally she said, "You know Gally, yeah?"**

**Of course Thomas knew the angry boy. "Gally said that he saw me when he was stung? What does that have to do with-?"**

**"Look. Not many of us in the Glade have gone through the Changing. Gally did. Ben did. And I did." The words carried a horrible weight that hit Thomas hard, he'd seen what the Changing did to the boys, and how they hated him after it. If she'd been through it too... "The Changing did something terrible to those two, but I survived by doing my best to just forget it. But, even though I tried, just like them, I recognize you. I'm not sure if that means anything, I honestly doubt that it matters." She rubbed the back of her neck and looked back at him again. "More importantly though, things are changing. And that's clearly centered around you." She poked him hard in the chest, the cold anger appearing back in her eyes. "And I happen to like living here, shuck-face. Don't think I'll forgive you if you destroy my home." With that said, she turned and walked away.**

**-**

**"Shouldn't we send someone after them?" Thomas finally asked.**

**"Can't." Juliet muttered. Her arm tightened around Newt's waist, both of them stared into the maze, their eyes held haunted expressions. Newt finally looked at him.**

**"It's against the rules, Tommy. We can't risk losing anyone else."**

**When Thomas tried to protest again, Juliet snapped at him.**

**"Minho is my best friend, and Alby is like family, don't forget that we have way more invested in this than you ever will, shuck-face. If there was anything we could do..."**

**She trailed off and Chuck was the one to interject, a cold certainty in his voice.**

**"What they're not saying is that if those two aren't back by now, they're dead."**

**The couple exchanged a pained look and Thomas saw that they both had tears in their eyes. But after a moment, they merely held on to each other and walked away.**

 

**"Newt! They're coming!" Thomas turned but Newt and Juliet were already almost back at the Homestead. They started to run back to him and Juliet did something no one had ever seen her do before. She left Newt behind as she started to sprint toward him. Even so, Thomas could see that she wasn't going to make it.**

**...**

**"Don't do it, Tommy. Don't you bloody do it!" Newt screamed from somewhere behind him.**

**After Thomas entered the Maze he had just enough time to turn and see Juliet slam to a stop on the other side of the closing gap. "Tommy!" She screamed and then the doors slammed shut with finality.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOT of time skips in this one. This is basically just how the main events would have changed with Juliet being a part of the story.

**"Gally, wait!" Juliet was the only one who called after him, but he didn't stop.**

**"Jules." Newt said quietly and the girl took her seat again. But she frowned.**

**"That was a little much, Minho."**

**"You know he had it coming."**

**She shook her head. "He hasn't been the same since he was stung. But that doesn't make it right."**

**"He just threatened to kill the Greenie."**

**"And since when has a threat meant anything around here?" Her mouth turned down in an angry frown. Thomas could barely believe that anyone would take that psycho's side.**

**"One problem at a time." Newt advised and that made it Juliet's turn to speak. Thomas knew it wouldn't be good for him.**

**"Alright." Juliet said with a sigh. "Gally might have overdone it just now, but let me say that I agree with him. Unlike the rest of you, I've been through the Changing. I saw... Well, I'm definitely not sure about trusting Thomas. On the other hand- He woke up in the box same as everyone here. But, in the end, what he did... He did something stupid. And courageous." Even now Thomas didn't know which side she was on. "I recommend punishment. A few weeks in the slammer, then give the shank to a Keeper who will keep an eye on him, keep him in check. And. I wouldn't give him a second chance."**

**The group nodded, even those that were on Thomas' side seemed to agree with her. And Thomas feared that she'd won them all over. Then Minho got up and spoke. After Minho had stirred people up greatly by calling for Thomas to replace him as Keeper of the Runners, Newt had suggested making him a regular Runner. That suggestion won. Only Juliet and Winston disagreed.**

**The meeting dissolved and Thomas went over to Minho, he was going to crack a joke but Juliet was suddenly there.**

**"Minho, you shuck-face." Despite her words she was smiling. "I should have known you'd pull something like that. Aim high..."**

**"Hit low." Minho responded and the two cracked their knuckles together. Her smile faded as she looked to Thomas.**

**"As for you- Being a Runner is a privilege, don't waste it."**

 

**After the meeting Juliet walked away without a word to Newt, and he went the other way without glancing in her direction. "That's odd." One of the Gladers Thomas didn't know commented. "Are they fighting?"**

**"Is that strange?" He asked.**

**"They usually don't disagree on things, and even when they do, the argument is usually resolved within a few minutes." Chuck filled him in on the details.**

**"I've never seen them disagree on anything important." Someone else agreed.**

**Thomas quickly followed after Newt. "Newt! Hey man, about Juliet..."**

**"What? Did those shanks try to tell you that we're fighting?" The boy scowled at him and Thomas took a step back.**

**"Well... Yeah."**

**"Bloody hell, Tommy. It's none of your business, even if you are the reason we're on opposite sides of a vote."**

**"I'm sorry. Someone just said that you two don't disagree so I thought..."**

**Newt snorted. "There must have been something wrong with that shank because we disagree all the time. I just don't normally win. And anyway, it's irrelevant because we don't disagree now."**

**Thomas heart sunk in his chest. "You think that I should be punished?"**

**"No. She's the one who lied during the vote. In fact, other than Minho, she's probably the one who agrees most with you being a Runner."**

**Thomas shook his head. That seemed impossible, especially considering the way she'd just been asking for his punishment. "You're not worried that she took off just now?"**

**"Jules has always done things at her own pace, which is usually 4 times faster than the rest of us. She'll come back when she's ready."**

**‘When she was ready’ ended up being much sooner than either of them anticipated because only a few minutes later she was marching up to them.**

**Juliet grabbed Thomas' arm. "I need to borrow you for a minute." She didn't even look at Newt as she dragged him away, but Newt's eyes shot fire at him the whole time as they crossed the Glade. Finally she released him and took a seat on the edge of the courtyard. The seriousness in her eyes frightened him.**

**"We need to talk about the Grievers." He must have been making a stupid face because she asked. "What?"**

**"You aren't going to yell at me?"**

**"Why would I do that?" She looked genuinely confused.**

**"Well, I thought, after..."**

**"The vote settled any problems between us. Now we've got to focus on the next step. Tell me everything about the Grievers you saw, every detail you can remember."**

**"Does it matter? They're dead-" Juliet interrupted him with a laugh, short, harsh and cynical. Thomas was almost afraid to ask his next question, "You mean, they aren't dead?"**

**"Where are the bodies, Tommy?" The words were quiet but he pulled away like he'd been slapped.**

**"Okay." Once again his eyes returned to Newt, whose gaze was still burning into him. "But shouldn't you talk to Newt before we talk? He's going to kill me."**

**"Why? Is he jealous?" She glanced over her shoulder to where Newt was standing, his arms were crossed and a deep scowl was on his face. When she turned back to Thomas a small smile was on her lips. "Any problem the two of us have will be resolved soon enough. I only have a small amount of time before you become the center of attention. So, tell me everything."**

**So Thomas did. After a minute he sat next to her and they talked for a long while. Juliet focused on the smallest of details; things he didn't think were significant. She seemed exasperated that he hadn't noticed more.**

**"What did you want me to do, stop running for my life to ask for an autograph?" Thomas finally snapped. Juliet surprised him then by laughing and clasping a hand on his shoulder.**

**"Good. You're not in shock. You should go get a nap before the evening meal." She stood up and brushed off her clothes. As soon as she mentioned sleep, the exhaustion hit him. "Chuck will want to dance around singing your praises. And I... have an apology to make." When she helped him up he was surprised by her strength. After Thomas was on his feet Juliet continued to hold on to his hand for an extra-long second. The touch was familiar and more gentle than he would have thought her capable of. "And, Tommy... You saved Alby and Minho. Those two shanks are like family. So thank you. Seriously, what you did... Well, just, thank you."**

**"Yeah." Thomas said, a little stunned by the genuine feeling in her words. When she finally pulled away, his hand continued to tingle from the memory of her touch. It had only lasted a moment and hadn't been romantic at all, but something about it had sent the blood rushing to his face.**

**-**

**"Minho is right. And I'm going too."**

**"No." Newt replied flatly.**

**"You know that they've been down one Runner ever since Nick, and Ben was stung before he could even complete the training. Minho is right. Today of all days we can't risk missing anything." She leaned down and kissed the older boy lightly. "I'll probably be back before you're done this." Newt reached up then and hooked a hand behind Juliet's head, holding her only a breath away from himself.**

**"Is that a challenge?" Newt asked, his eyes dancing playfully. She matched his expression perfectly.**

**"You know it is." She replied and they kissed again. Then she was running out the door, with Minho only a step behind her. Thomas looked at Teresa for a moment but couldn't think of anything to say after just watching that exchange. So he merely turned and hurried to catch up to the others.**

**"We'll take Eight." Juliet was saying and Minho agreed without complaint.**

**"Then I'll take One. I'll meet you guys back here."**

**"Wait. Me too?" Thomas asked as he figured out what they meant.**

**"Yes, Thomas. Go with Juliet. She's one of the best Runners we've ever had, stick with her." Then he turned right and Juliet turned left and Thomas was forced to choose. He turned left and hurried after Juliet. She was fast. She ran along fast enough that Thomas began to wonder if Minho had slowed his place so that Thomas could keep up. She also didn't leave the ivy 'breadcrumbs' on every turn like Minho did, in fact, she only did so twice. As they ran Thomas had a mental conversation with Teresa. And when he stumbled because of something she said, Juliet once again did something Minho wouldn't have done. Juliet stopped and came back to help him up.**

**"You okay?" She asked and he nodded, too out of breath to respond. "Come on. Three more turns and then we'll take a break." She promised even as she started running again.**

**Three turns later they stopped just before a large intersection. Thomas felt exposed there, staring down so many hallways.**

**"Are you sure it's safe to stop here?"**

**She was already sitting, stretching out her legs.**

**"What makes you think there is any safe place to stop in the Maze, Greenie? Sit down. We won't be here long."**

**Thomas was uncomfortable with the silence, but Juliet didn't seem to be. She ate her sandwich quickly, then waited for him to be done with his. Finally he couldn't stand the silence anymore.**

**"You know where Gally is, right?"**

**She didn't seem surprised by his sudden outburst and merely answered him flatly, "No."**

**"But you were friends with him, so-"**

**"Let me stop you right there, shank. Yes, Gally is my friend. But, no, I don't know what has happened to him. He's smart, he'd know better than to come to me for help. I'd turn him in immediately, and he knows that."**

**"But, at the Gathering it was obvious that you didn't agree that he should be put in the Slammer."**

**"I'm a Keeper, Thomas. Just because I don't agree with a decision we come to does not mean that I would ever go against it. I know my respon-" Juliet stopped mid-word, her neck snapping around to the intersection.**

**"What is-" Her hand clamped around his mouth, silencing him without even looking in his direction. Then he heard it too, the mechanical clicking of a Griever approaching.**

**Juliet was on her feet so fast he hadn't even seen her move. One hand held her long knife, the other pulled him to his feet and pushed him back deep into the ivy.**

**The Griever passed through the intersection quickly, not even glancing at where they were barely concealed in the ivy. It wasn't until long after it had passed that she breathed again.**

**"We have to hurry." Juliet whispered to him, and crept up to the corner, glancing down the pathway after the Griever. "Come on." She said and then started running after the thing. Thomas could barely make himself run after her.**

**"What are we doing?" Thomas whispered as he caught up to her. She held out a hand and came to a stop at the next corner, peering around it cautiously.**

**"Probably getting ourselves killed." She muttered back her response. Thomas was just about to snap back a reply when he noticed that her knife was trembling in her grip.**

**"Jules?" He asked, and she turned her gaze to him. A deep terror was evident in her eyes, and for that reason, he followed her as she followed the Griever. They paused at each corner to watch where it went, then kept up their pursuit.**

**"Hold on." Juliet said right as he was about to follow the thing again.**

**"What are we waiting for?"**

**"That corner only goes one place. We need to be careful." She didn't explain but Thomas understood when he peered around the next corner. They were at the cliff and the Griever was nowhere to be seen. Thomas was just about to go out to take a look when he heard the familiar sound that chilled his blood.  A Griever entered the cliff area from the other corridor that led here. The two of them ran backwards a couple steps, but the sounds of the Griever didn't get any closer. When they finally looked again, there were no Grievers in sight, but after a moment, someone else appeared. Minho jogged into clearing and headed for the cliff.**

**"Hey." Juliet called to the boy and he spun around.**

**"What are you two doing?" He called back. Thomas was alarmed at how loud they were being, and that Juliet jogged over to Minho.**

**"Same thing you were doing, I think- Chasing a Griever." The Asian kid nodded grimly.**

**"Something is going on here. If that Griever didn't go down your part of the Maze, it had to go somewhere."**

**After the three of them discussed it and the boys decided to carefully examine the Cliff itself, Juliet left.**

**"I'll head back and keep working with the maps. Was there any change in your section from yesterday?" When Minho shook his head, she turned and jogged away without another word.**

**-**

**"Shouldn't someone give a speech?" Minho asked, and Newt replied.**

**"Go ahead."**

**Minho nodded then looked at them all seriously. "Be careful. Don't die." A quick moment passed until they realized that that was the entirety of his speech.**

**"Great," Newt muttered. "We're all bloody inspired." Juliet snickered. Despite the serious and terrifying situation they were in, she somehow still found a way to laugh. And that astounded Thomas, but he didn't have time to think anything of it because the group surged forward.**

**-**

**"Jules. You go with them." Newt said, not taking his eyes of the approaching Grievers.**

**"Not a bloody chance." She replied, reaching down to squeeze Newt's hand quickly before she pulled out her second knife. "Those three can handle it. Can't you?" Her eyes met Thomas' and she nodded, her expression told him that she wouldn't accept anything but agreement from him.**

**"Yeah." He replied.**

**-**

**After they'd shut down the Grievers Minho came through the opening first, then Juliet, then Newt. Newt stumbled because of his leg, but Jules was there instantly. She helped support him and lead him out of the way so the others could come inside. They were covered in so many scratches and gore that it was impossible to tell just how badly wounded they were. As the others flooded in after them Thomas realized that they were all in pretty bad shape, and only about half of their overall numbers had made it. But they had made it and that was all that mattered.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, there's a lot more pain in this than I had remembered.  
>  This starts before book 2.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Teresa had taken a brief look and then went to have her shower. It made me think that she remembered more than she said she did, because I couldn't pry my eyes off the reflection. It was strange to look in a mirror and know you should recognize yourself, but have no idea who you were looking at.

The girl in the reflection looked almost frightening. Underneath the dirt and blood splatter, her eyes were strong and unrelenting. I tried smiling and almost laughed at how pathetic it was. Newt had been right though, my eyes weren't green though they looked it from a distance.  With a shake of my head I finally turned away.

"You can leave your old things out here. There will be new clothes waiting for you." One of the overly helpful workers had said indicating the separate shower rooms. Then she moved as if to leave.

"Actually, I have a question." I told her and she nodded. But when I made by request her nose crinkled.

"You're safe now. You don't need that."

"I'd like to believe you, but I don't. Besides, even if you're right and I never need it, what's the harm in teaching me? Just to make a traumatized girl feel better?" For some reason that sardonic comment seemed to get to her because she nodded and told me what I needed to know.

By the time Teresa got out of the shower, her old belongings were gone. She didn't seem to care much, but I felt myself frown. When I got into the shower I took my sword with me. I hooked the belt over the shower head before turning the water on. It was hot. Not like the lukewarm water we got in the Glade. It was actually hot. It turned my skin a bright shade of pink and though I probably should have turned it down, I didn't. I could have spent an eternity under the water but I didn't do that either. Once my skin and hair were probably more clean than I'd ever been, I left the hot water behind.

As expected, all of my old things were gone.  It was no major loss, I still had my watch and my sword, and those were the important things. I put on the new clothes and buckled my sword over them. One of the helpers came into the room and tried to ask that I hand over the weapon. But after only one threatening look she left me alone.

Finally I had a chance to look in the mirror again. The stranger stared back at me, cleaner now, but still unfamiliar. I pushed my blonde hair from side to side, making a decision easily. The world was changing, and so, I would too.

The helpers very helpfully provided me with a pair of scissors when I asked. Then I closed the door and returned to the stranger in the mirror. The first slice was tentative but it got easier after that. I cut off about half a foot of the blonde curls, and now the locks ended just below my collar bone. The height was good because it could still be tied back; it was new but still practical. I twisted to try to see it all in the small mirror until I was satisfied.

As I backed away, my reflection gave me a confident smile. I decided then that I may just grow to like the stranger in the mirror after all.

The group was painfully quiet in the big common area. They exchanged glances with a nervous surprise in their expressions. It was obvious to me that they were still in shock, which I figured was a normal reaction to what we'd been through.

"Jules." Newt's beautiful voice sounded from in front of me. I almost ran into his arms. There others could be shocked all they wanted, I just wanted to move on. I pushed away the sick feeling in my gut whenever I thought about the Gladers we'd lost to get here.

Newt reached up and tugged on an end of my hair like he always did.

"It's short."

I put on a fake pout at his words. "You're supposed to say that it's nice."

"It's lovely." He corrected himself and then kissed me.

"Thank you." While we were still close, I whispered, "They're only giving me vague answers to my questions. Any luck on your end?"

His shook his head subtly, his eyes glancing at the workers who bustled around the room. "Same. The others are still too out of it to be any help. But all of our weapons and supplies are gone. I still can't tell if we should be worried or not."

"We'll wait and see for now." I said quietly as a man came up and told us to gather so we could all eat. Newt took my hand protectively and we went to sit with the others.

They gave us pizza; real, glorious pizza. No one spoke as we ate, and most of the boys looked like they were expecting to wake up any moment.

The next morning we woke from this dream and walked into a nightmare.

 

 

**They were free.**

**People were taking care of them, and they felt safe for basically the first time in any of their memories.**

**As the group ate together Thomas found his gaze wandering to Newt and Juliet. The two of them wouldn't stop smiling at each other and they seemed to laugh for no reason, like they had a joke that no one else could understand. And now that they were out of the Glade, their hands seemed permanently joined. Even as they ate their pizza, their free hands were linked together over the table. Thomas pulled his gaze to Teresa who was sitting across the table from him and a spike of jealousy raged in his chest. He envied Newt and Juliet for having each other, and being able to be so public about their affection. Not for the first time, he wondered what it must feel like to love without reserve, without always wondering what the empty pieces in his memory meant.**

**When their caretakers decided it was time for bed, only one person argued. They corralled the boys back towards the dorm. As they did so, they pulled Teresa away from the group so fast he didn't even get to say goodbye. But when they tried to do the same with Juliet they were met with a big surprise.**

**"Yeah, you can shucking forget it!" Juliet pulled the nearest rescuer to her, her sword on the man's throat. Thomas had noticed earlier that even though everyone had showered and changed clothes, she was the only one who had somehow managed to hold on to her weapon. "I stay with them, no matter what." She threatened, then backed into the dorm room behind the boys, only releasing her captive once she was in the doorway.**

**"Fine. Whatever." One of the adults yelled at her and shoved her into the room after the boys. It took both Newt and Minho to catch her as she stumbled into the room.**

**"Jules. Are you alright?" Newt asked.**

**"I am now." Juliet replied, slipping her hand into his.**

**Thomas hurried over to them. "Where's Teresa?"**

**"I don't know. It looked like they were taking her to another room. When they tried to make me go that way, I panicked. I'm sorry I didn't react quick enough to keep your girl with us, Tommy." She was the only one besides Newt who called him that, and only when it was serious. He found that he had to believe her.**

**"It'll be fine." Newt added on. "They were probably just trying to protect the girls from us shanks or something."**

**"Yeah. Probably." He turned away, reaching out to Teresa with his mind to be sure. He talked with her for a while and all too soon he was drifting close to sleep.**

**"Hey, Tommy?" Juliet's voice reached over to him through the darkness. There were enough bunk beds that she could have had her own cot but instead she'd taken a pillow and blanket off an empty bed and crawled into a single bed with Newt, who hadn't seemed to mind one bit about sharing the tiny space.**

**"Yeah?" He answered her, sleepily.**

**"Is Teresa okay? I mean... You can talk to her, right?" For a moment Thomas hesitated to answer that question, he didn't like talking about their strange telepathy. But her concern for Teresa seemed so genuine that he explained.**

**"Yeah. She said they put her in a room across the way. She said that she wasn't sure how you'd be okay in this room with all its smelly boys."**

**Juliet laughed quietly; it was a gentle, pleasant sound. And with her concern for Teresa, Thomas found himself genuinely liking her for maybe the first time.**

**"I've been living with these smelly boys for over a year. I'm already used to it. But I am glad that she's okay."**

**"Me too." He mumbled and then sleep consumed him.**

 

**When he woke up to the Cranks trying to get in through the windows he found her presence reassuring. Juliet danced on the balls of her feet, her eyes and hair wild. She kept licking her lips nervously, her gaze darting from the threats in each window to Newt as he moved around the room waking and gathering the other Gladers. Most reassuring of all, her short sword bounced up and down in her hand, her nervous energy making it impossible for it to be still. Thomas found himself desperately wishing that she wasn't the only one who had held on to her weapon.**

**-**

**The back of Newt's neck read. _Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A5. The Glue._**

**Newt gently pulled Juliet's shirt down to read her inscription. _Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A6. The Anomaly and The Hope._**

**"Bloody hell." Newt breathed out after he'd read the lines.**

**Juliet grasped at her neck, her nails digging at her flesh. "They've shucking branded us!" At her accusation Newt pulled her hands away and placed them on his chest. It seemed an odd gesture to Thomas but it seemed to instantly calm her. "Right. Sorry." She took a deep breath then forced a smile. "Well, I guess we've got some new nicknames." A couple of the boys smiled at her joke but after her outburst it didn't have the same affect.**

**-**

**As they starved Thomas found himself watching Juliet intently. The girl was never completely still. All the others sat or laid on their cots, using as little energy as possible. And even though she sat still for the most part, her hands stayed busy. She took a sheet from an empty bed, cut it in strips and was weaving it together. Finally his curiosity compelled him to go over and sit on the edge of her cot.**

**"What are you doing?" She barely paused in her weaving to hold up her project to him, revealing that it was taking the shape of a bag.**

**"If things keep disappearing or changing when we're not looking at them, we'll need something to hold on to them with."**

**"Hold on to what, exactly?"**

**"Anything that might be useful."**

**Thomas found the conversation grating. "What makes you think we're going to live long enough that we'll need something like that?"**

**Finally she looked at him. Even her fingers stopped working as she studied him. Then she leaned over and poked his forehead lightly.**

**"You've got knowledge in that head of yours that the others can merely guess at. You might try using it. Do you really think they'd let this game end so easily?"**

**Thomas was appalled at the words, so he snapped, "This is not a game."**

**"No? Didn't you think it was a game when you designed the Maze, Thomas?"**

**Shock and anger raced through him. He hated being reminded of what he did.**

**"I don't know. I don't remember."**

**"The thing you have to remember is that they do not think like we do. You were stung. You have the information in your head. Think it through. Your ignorance is helping no one."**

**"That's not fair. You act just as ignorant."**

**"My ignorance serves a purpose. It protects the ones I love. What does yours do?" Her eyes were so serious that he found he had to answer her.**

**"I... I don't know."**

**"You need to find out. Otherwise it is useless for you to have the knowledge at all." Juliet gave a sigh of resignation, and then held up one of the sheets. "Do you want to help?"**

**"Why are we doing this, again?"**

**"Busy." She muttered. "Busy is good." So Thomas moved over next to her and let her teach him how to weave the strips together. How much time passed, Thomas didn't know. His stomach continued to growl but they continued to weave the bags. Every now and then Thomas noticed Newt glaring at him, the boy seemed bothered that he was spending time with Juliet. But it was reassuring both to be next to her and to have his hands busy. He found he wasn't as hungry if he had something else to focus on. When they had made at least a dozen bags he found the courage to say the thing that had been rattling around in his head for a long time now.**

**"I'm sorry you know, about destroying your home."**

**Juliet sighed, but didn't look angry. "I've known for a long time that it couldn't last. You changed our world. I liked living in the Glade, it had everything I needed. But Newt... Newt wanted more. So I'm actually grateful. And you didn't destroy my home, not really. I still have Newt. And as long as his hand is in mine," She held her hand straight out as if to demonstrate. "I am home. Just be careful, Tommy. I don't think you exactly know. Minho and Newt will follow you, and everyone else will follow them. Just be careful where you're leading us all too, eh?"**

**-**

**The man continued to speak, but behind Thomas he heard Juliet mutter plans quietly with Newt and Minho. Out of the corner of his eye Thomas saw that the three of them stood close together as they exchanged ideas in hushed tones.**

**"We'll take everything. Blankets, extra clothes, anything we can carry. Until we know exactly what we need."**

**"We could even break the mirrors and make handles out of the blankets for weapons."**

**When it seemed like the Rat Man was done his speech, Juliet was the first to respond, and she asked loudly,**

**"Are you telling the truth?" At her words everyone turned to look at her. Thomas saw that she had a pen in her hand and had scribbled some words on her arm. Thomas' gut clenched as he remembered how Teresa had done the same thing when she's woken in the Glade. Juliet pulled her sleeve down to cover the words but not before Thomas could read them.**

**Safe Haven - > 100miles N. 2 weeks.**

**And below that she'd written the lines,**

**You can't trust your senses.**

**You have the Flare.**

**He didn't know why she'd thought it necessary to take notes on Rat Man's speech, but he found the words chilling all the same.**

**For a moment everyone merely stared at her in silence. Then, to everyone's surprise, Rat Man answered. The man gave them a greasy smile.**

**"You'll all just have to decide that on your own." Before anyone could respond the Rat Man pointed directly at Juliet.**

**"As for you. The Anomaly. Let's talk for a moment."**

**As soon as he pointed at Juliet, her face went blank, then fear covered her face. Her normally bright eyes clouded over, like she was somewhere else. Thomas remembered the words Rat Man had just said- _"Sometimes what you see is not real, and sometimes what you do not see is real. We can manipulate your brains..."_**

**"Newt? ... Newt!?" She practically screamed the second time. Newt stood right in front of her, his expression desperate as he tried to tell her he was there, but her eyes saw right through him. She didn't even seem to notice when he shook her shoulders. "Newt?" Her voice cracked as she called out again.**

**"What are you doing to her? Let her go!" Newt screamed at the man behind his barrier, but the man didn't react at all, merely continued to stare cruelly at Juliet.**

As soon as the Rat Man had pointed at me, the world disappeared. Suddenly I was in an empty black expanse. The room, Newt, the other boys, everything was just gone, except for myself and the Rat Man.

I couldn't stop myself from calling out. "Newt?" Panic welled within me as I stared at the vast nothing facing me. "Newt!" I almost screamed. _Calm down._

I forced myself to take a long, deep breath. Newt and the others weren't gone, I knew that. I had to focus, try not to fall too deeply into this lie.

 _What if this is real and everything else has been the lie?_ My brain asked and I shook away the thought.

"Newt." I called out again, stretching out my trembling fingers in the dark. "Love, if you're here, just hold on to me." Almost instantly, the tremors in my hand stopped. I couldn't feel his warmth, his touch, and I couldn't tell if he was truly there. But I'd memorized the feeling long ago. I held it in my mind and didn't let any doubts enter.

"While I have you here, let's test your fears." Rat Man said and instantly a Griever appeared in the darkness between us. Automatically, my sword went up defensively, even as I told myself it wasn't real.

"Newt. Hold on to me." I repeated and suddenly there was an unseen pressure pushing down my sword arm. "I'm not afraid of Grievers." I told Rat Man as bravely as I could. He merely smiled.

"Perhaps not, but what about this?" The scene before me changed so drastically it should have been easy to deny, but the sight in front of me shocked every other thought out of my mind. My mind reeled, trying to make sense of what was going on as my senses were bombarded.

I was in the Glade.

The sun was bright and warm. Behind me, boys laughed as they went about their work. The wind rustled the treetops and tousled my hair as it went past. The warm breeze carried with it the scent of crops, and damp dirt, and even the faint smell of blood from the Blood House. My muscles were tense and sore the way they only were after working in the fields all day. A shovel weighed in my hands, the wood handle rough against my palms. It was all so fresh, so real, that the fact that I wasn't really there was quickly fading from my mind. The sun blared in my eyes and I unconsciously turned to squint up at it, sitting just above the wall.

The scene changed again and I caught sight of something that made my heart stop.

Instantly I was running. I sped down the stone corridors on feet that weren't mine. My eyes stayed fixed on the boy. It was Newt. Newt was at the top of the ivy, halfway up a wall, and I knew why.

He was leaning precariously away from the wall, his hands barely holding on to the ivy behind him. For a moment it seemed he looked straight at me. Then, he let go. I stopped breathing as he fell. It took him a terrifyingly long time to reach the ground. The sounds of the Glade and the Maze all disappeared behind the rushing in my ears, an unearthly silence covered everything. I knew he'd land on his leg. I knew he'd be okay. After all, he'd told me that was what had happened. But what had happened didn't happen this time. In painful slowness his body flipped and he fell head first. Realization of what would happen washed over me only a second before it became true.

Then he hit the ground.

The silence was broken by a loud crunch. I watched as his bones crumpled in on themselves and were crushed by the impact.

Suddenly I was on my knees beside his body. He wasn't dead. Not quite. Blood was everywhere. His hair covered part of his young face. His eyes were dull. And horrible, ragged, breaths were torn from his damaged lungs. Blood pooled from a gaping hole in his chest, mangled ribs sticking out from the wound sickeningly.

"No." I managed to find the breath to say the word. I put my hands on his chest, trying to stop the bleeding. His blood poured around my hands, hot and sticky. It flowed down into the cracks in the stonework. It stained the ivy, turning what were normally bright greens into sickly brown. Beneath my fingers I could feel his jagged bones and every laboured breath. With only that touch, I knew exactly how bad it was.

"No." I gasped out the words. "No. No. No." My hands were trembling and I knew. There was nothing I could do. I continued to press down on the wounds hopelessly. Not a single breath would stay in my lungs in the face of it. Through it all Newt, My Newt, stared up at me, his eyes draining of life by the second. "No. No. No. No. No. No."

There was a tug on my shoulder and Nick's voice came from behind me. "You can't save him; just like you couldn't save us." When I looked up at Nick I saw him as I had the last time I'd seen him. His skin was blue in death, blood stains on his clothes indicating horrible wounds I could only guess at. Behind him stood Alby, torn by the Grievers, eyes shadowed with the haunted pain of being stung. Their dead eyes bore down into my soul.

"No!" I gasped out. I wanted to beg their forgiveness, scream for help, plead for a way to save Newt, but it was like I only knew that one word. Underneath my hands I felt the torrent of blood ebb nearly to a stop.

I turned back to Newt just in time to watch him die.

For a second his eyes came back into focus and he gave me a weak smile. Then his face contorted with pain, and all of the light disappeared from his eyes. He took one last, shuddering breath; his final breath, then he was gone.

As he stopped breathing, so did I. I couldn't do anything but stare in horror at his lifeless body. The tears fell then. Without reserve, without sound, they streamed in a massive torrent down my face. My fingers curled around the edges of his torn shirt. The fear, the horror, the pain and a million other things crushed me until I broke. Something deep inside of me cracked. My mouth opened as if to scream or sob but no breath would enter my lungs. There could be no relief from this horror.

"Oops. Time’s up." Sounded a cynical, almost cheerful voice. The Maze, the Glade, everything, disappeared. There was only a wall of black, and Newt's broken body still under my hands. Numbly I looked up, my mouth still hanging open in a silent scream. A man in white stood in front of me with a chilling smile on his face. "Remember. Find open air. Go one hundred miles, directly north, to the safe haven. Make it or die."

Then the man was gone. He took the darkness and Newt's body with him and left me abruptly back in reality. I stared at the space that Newt had disappeared from as details came back into focus. My hands were free of blood and resting on a plush carpet. A knife lay only a hands breath away. A small room. Boys.

Red was creeping into the edges of my vision. When I finally heard the voice, it sounded muted and far away.

"Breathe! Damn it, Jules! Breathe!" My gaze slowly drifted to the boy shaking my shoulders. A boy with ragged blonde hair and a scar on his cheek was screaming at me, his brown eyes were wide with desperation. My brain numbly thought he looked familiar. "JULES!" He screamed.

 ** _Newt._** As soon as I realized what I was looking at, I was able to breathe again. I gasped in a breath. The air shocked my deprived lungs and I buckled over coughing. Once again I was clinging to his shirt and once again, I lost him. But for a completely different reason this time as darkness rushed in and I passed out.

 

 

**Juliet was only gone for a few minutes. At one point she slid to her knees. The girl's entire body trembled. And she kept repeating one word; as if it was the only thing she could say.**

**"No."**

**It wasn't until that moment that Thomas realized just how much the others cared for her. They shouted and rushed forward, trying to find a way to stop whatever was happening. Minho beat his fists wildly into the invisible barrier, as if he believed he could break it down. And Newt held on to Juliet tightly, kneeling on the ground right in front of her.**

**"Jules. Come on. Come back to me." Newt's fingers dug into her shoulders desperately.**

**Her only reply was to gasp out the single protest over and over with rising urgency. "No. No. No! NO!"**

**Then suddenly, she stopped. Tears rushed down her cheeks and her mouth opened wide with horror. For a second Thomas thought she might scream, then he realized she couldn't.**

**"She isn't breathing!" Thomas knelt beside them, gripping her arm as she stared at the room with dead eyes.**

**"Oops." Rat Man's calm voice somehow silenced the entire room. "Time's up. Remember. Find open air. Go one hundred miles, directly North, to the safe haven. Make it or die." The group fell forward as the man and his wall disappeared.**

**Thomas turned his eyes back to Juliet. Her eyes had gone bloodshot from the lack of oxygen, but the faraway look seemed to be fading from them.**

**"Breathe! Damn it, Jules! Breathe!" Newt screamed at her. Slowly her eyes focused on him, and clarity started to come back to her as recognition lit her expression.**

**She gasped in a single breath before falling into a coughing fit. When it passed, she had collapsed. The other boys surrounded them.**

**"Is she okay?"**

**Newt pushed the hair from her face delicately. "I think she's... Just unconscious."**

**"What happened?"**

**"You think I have any bloody idea?"**

**-**

**They took turns carrying Juliet. At first, just Newt held her in his arms, but as they fled the horrible dark corridor Minho helped hold on to her. Once they were actually in the brutal sun and the shifting sand it became an even harder burden to bear. Not once did anyone suggest leaving her behind, and Thomas wasn't sure if that was for her or because of Newt. The older boy held on to her with a desperate grip, his limp getting worse by the minute. Finally Thomas couldn't watch it anymore and he hurried to catch up to Newt.**

**"Here. I'll carry her for a while. You'll kill yourself trying to do it on your own." For a second he thought the boy might not release her. Then his frown lessened and he gently handed the girl over.**

**"Thanks, Tommy."**

**They switched a few more times until she finally woke.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Scorch

When I woke it was the opposite of waking in the Box. It was bright. It was so bright that my eyes burned behind their eyelids. And the heat. Heat burned at my lungs making it hard to breathe. I felt myself in motion, but it was a bouncing repetitive motion. Then I felt the arms beneath my back and realized I was being carried. A memory crashed down on me, Newt's blood pouring out around my hands. I was teetering right on the edge of conscious, I could feel my surroundings but every time I came near to waking up the image of Newt dying right in front of me flashed in my head and my soul gave up. I tried to remember Newt's face after that, his older features that I was so familiar with, and the look of desperation he'd had the last time I'd seen him.

 _It wasn't real. Wake up! It wasn't real!_ I screamed at myself and tried to hang on to the present.

"If she doesn't wake soon and get some water in her, it won't matter." A distant voice was saying.

"I'll take her for a while. You'll kill yourself trying to carry her on your own." I tried to hold on. I tried to claw my way to consciousness but it was a long while before I woke properly.

The first thing I properly knew was that I was being held. My cheek rested against a chest; there were arms under me, tensed under the strain of my weight. I opened my eyes and saw only white. It took a moment for me to realize what I was looking was at. A white sheet had been draped over me like a funeral covering. A voice rumbled from the man carrying me and I only knew one thing for sure. It wasn't Newt.

I shoved away from him immediately, tearing the sheet away as I tumbled from the man’s arms. There were shouts as the two of us stumbled. I barely managed to stay on my feet, reaching for my knife, but it wasn't there. Without a weapon, I turned to the group now surrounding me wildly, trying to come up with some way to keep them away. Vaguely familiar faces flashed beneath ridiculous sheet robes but I was in too much of a panic to try to understand any of the facts facing me.

The ground beneath my feet shifted and moved like it was alive and I stumbled. Then Newt was there, running towards me through what I realized was sand. My legs gave out at the sight of him, and he reached me just in time to catch me as I fell. His strong arms braced me gently.

"Jules." Newt lowered me to the burning ground gently.

"What-?" I tried to ask but the words scraped against my raw throat.

"Alright people. Unscheduled break for Juliet. 10 minutes." I glanced over Newt's shoulder at Minho who was shouting out instructions and rubbing his chest. I realized that he'd been the one carrying me, the one I'd fought with to get away from. But it didn't matter. **_Newt._** Newt was there. He also had a sheet draped over him, his face was covered in dirt and sweat and dark circles of worry shadowed his eyes. He had never looked more handsome, or more **_alive_** , than he did right then.

He put an odd plastic bag gently against my mouth. As soon as the water hit my tongue I felt thirsty enough to swallow a lake. But after I'd had only enough that it no longer to hurt to swallow I pushed it away.

Newt looked at me with concern, his brow furrowed in a deep frown. I reached up to push his hair from his face, finally resting my hand on his cheek.

"You're alive." Tears stung at my eyes. His frown deepened, confusion in his eyes.

"Of course I am."

I barely whispered the words, "I watched you die."

"I don't know what they did but it wasn't real, Sweetheart." I shook my head weakly, though I could feel my strength slowly returning.

"You don't understand. It was like they put me inside a recording of the day you, you... jumped. I held you while..." Despite the repressive heat, I shivered. "Your blood on my hands..."

Newt's arms tightened around me. "Are you alright? You stopped breathing."

"You died." I grabbed his shirt as I said it, trying to make him understand.

"Jules, it's okay." Gently he brushed the hair from my face. "It wasn't real."

"How can we trust anything we see?" My whisper went unheard as Minho came over and started talking to us.

"We've got to keep moving.  We'll stop before the sun comes up."

Newt turned back to me. "Come on, Love." He moved as if he was going to pick me up but I put my hand on his chest.

"I can walk."

Minho leaned down to me. "Are you sure? You look like klunk."

"Slim it, shuck-face." I muttered as I forced myself to sit up. My words were too weak to carry any weight, but he smiled anyway.

They helped me to my feet and Newt slid an arm around my waist, supporting me though I didn't really need it. Soon the whole procession was moving again.

It didn't take long for me to get used to the heat, the constant sweat, and the shifting sand. And though I grew stronger, beside me I could feel something was wrong. The usually small limp seemed to grow worse by the minute.

"Your leg?"

Newt grunted before answering. "It's nothing. Just hard to walk on this bloody sand."

I shifted us so that my arm was around his waist and his arm was over my shoulders.

"It's fine." He protested.

"Like hell it is. I won't lose you." My voice softened. "Not to anything. Just let me help you."

He shook his head, but after a moment he shifted his weight onto my shoulders anyway. "If I'm hurting you, tell me."

"I will."

"Just for a bit, okay?"

"Okay."

We walked on in silence for a long time, long enough that the sun went low on the horizon. As shadows started to slip across the ground and cover the world I spoke again. "Hey, Newt? I love you. You do know that, right?"

He gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Of course I know that. And I love you too."

We walked until everyone's feet were beyond aching and our muscles trembled at the effort.

Thomas and the new kid, Aris, were directly behind us. I only caught snippets of their conversation. But at one point I had to interject. Thomas had asked if Aris had any idea why this was happening. The boy had a couple of theories but one in particular brought me to a shuddering halt. I turned around to them abruptly, pulling Newt along with me as I did.

"What did you just say?"

"I said breeding. You know, a group of girls, a group of guys, and they're making it so only the strongest survive. It seems like a fairly logical explanation."

"That's not possible. Unless..." A sudden realization hit me and I felt my eyes grow wide. "Did... I mean, the girls, were they... Could they..." I hadn't even considered that the girls might be different than me. The Anomaly was what WICKED had written on my back. What if that meant more than just how I was different from the boys, but how I was different from the girls too?

"What?" Aris asked, the three boys were now staring at me with curiosity and concern. I forced myself to breathe again.

"No. It's fine. Sorry. I guess... Uh, the idea just shocked me a little." I turned back to our march and tried not to listen to them anymore.

Newt leaned closer and asked, "Jules?  Are you alright?"

For a long moment I was silent, but I couldn't lie to him. In fact, I probably should have told him about this long ago. "There's something that-" I couldn't finish the thought as Minho called out for a break. For once, I was thankful that the shank had interrupted me. I needed time to consider just what this meant and what I would do.

 

The Scorch was terrifying. The sand, the heat, even the Cranks, I could handle all of that. But every minute I was thinking about what Rat Man had made me go through. All of the sudden I couldn't trust a single thing, not a feeling or smell or sight. The horrible idea that nothing was as it seemed was something I bore alone. The others didn't seem to remember or care that WICKED could get inside our heads. But none of them had seen the things I had.

**Juliet made her protest with obvious misgivings. "Why hasn't this place been picked over? An abandoned mall is a goldmine in a world like this, but it doesn't even look scavenged."**

**"Maybe it was buried until recently." Newt answered the girl's question but she didn't look reassured.**

**"We can't stay here. We need to move on, quickly." The others nodded but Thomas didn't agree.**

**"What we should do is take a look around. Find out if there's anything or anyone here that can help us."**

**"Anyone? Anyone we meet out here is either going to want to kill us, or want us to cure them and then will kill us because we can't do that."**

**"Enough!" Minho came and stood between them as if expecting to have to stop a fight. He faced Juliet. "You said yourself, this is a goldmine. We'll find some supplies, there's got to be something useful in here. But," He turned to Thomas. "We'll make it quick and we won't go too far."**

When we found the abandoned mall, it just made things worse. Immediately it seemed like a bad idea, and even though I argued, the group wouldn't leave without looking around.

The dress was beautiful. The pale green fabric shimmered in the light from the flashlights. Almost unconsciously I froze when I came across it. I couldn't stop my fingers from reaching out to touch the smooth fabric. An irrational sorrow washed over me, followed by anger.

It felt personal. It felt like WICKED had put the row of dresses there just to remind me of what I would never have.

"It's beautiful." Newt's gentle voice came from behind me.

"It's impractical." I said, drawing my fingers away. Before I could move away Newt's hands encircled my waist, he put his chin on my shoulder and whispered.

"Someday. When all of this is over. We'll get you a dress just like this one, pretty and impractical. And you can wear it every day if you want." The sentence was so silly I wanted to laugh, but instead, tears stung at my eyes.

"Someday." I whispered.

"Someday." Newt agreed. When he said it, it sounded like a promise. He kissed me on the cheek before letting go.

The things we found were mostly useful. Everyone managed to find some clothes that better suited the environment. Soon everyone was changed into clothes that were light but covered all their skin, gloves and scarves too. A lot of the boys came back with new shoes as well, tall, well-supported boots for trudging through the sand. We were able to switch our supplies from the ratty woven bags to real backpacks. Flashlights and a few sleeping bags were added to our supplies. What little water we had left got transferred to real water bottles, but there was no food or fresh water to be found anywhere. No weapons either. But we did the best we could and we all felt much better prepared by the time we were done.

There were a few signs that other people had been down here before us, but nothing that indicated that anyone was here now. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that we shouldn't be here. The others must have felt so too, because it wasn't long before everyone was back. The only ones who were taking longer to get back were Thomas and Minho. I checked my watch anxiously, we'd been in the building for over half an hour, and they should have been back by now.

"Where are they?" I finally asked, bouncing on my toes in my new boots.

"Maybe-" Frypan's words were cut off as the lights turned on. All at once, all across the mall, lights and signs flickered to life. Less than half the lights still worked, and they cast an eerie glow over everything. Instinctively everyone jumped to their feet and drew together, eyes wide, hands on our packs or on what weapons we had.

"The bloody hell is going on?" Newt muttered, his eyes were darting around as if he might be able to find the answer on the walls. A minute passed. Then two. No threat jumped out at us, so the group relaxed a bit, though they continued exchanging nervous glances. Newt started pacing as we waited for the others to return. I didn't put my sword away or take my eyes off the corridor the two had originally taken.

"How long do we wait?" No one answered me and another minute ticked by.

"Did you hear that?" Frypan asked suddenly, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. He shushed everyone's questions and we stared into the gloom. Finally, I heard it too.

"Run!" Someone was yelling. Then I saw the two of them. "Get out! Go!" They were both screaming. Behind them I could see the forms of misshapen people chasing after them. _Cranks._

"Run. Run! Go." I turned to the stunned group, with increasing urgency. "Go!" I screamed. I grabbed Newt's hand and ran. The words shocked everyone out of their surprise and they quickly caught up to us. The glimpses of the Cranks we'd seen from the safe house hadn't led me to believe that they would be fast, but they were. The people were maimed, diseased, and often inured, but they were gaining on us. Horrible screams came from them, and others joined them, their numbers growing by the second.

Panic raced in my veins. We weren't going fast enough. Beside me, Newt's limp forced us to go slower than we needed to. He wasn't slow, but the others sprinted with adrenaline in their veins and they started to pass us. As the other Gladers got ahead of us Newt shook free of my hand.

"Go on. I'll catch up." He told me, his chest heaving just as much as mine was.

"Not a bloody chance!" I screamed back at him. But I switched my sword back to my right hand as I ran, keeping pace beside him. We went up a flight of stairs and that seemed to slow our pursuers a bit. But, when we reached the top a Crank came out of nowhere and tackled Newt, making them both roll away. Thomas reached them before I did and shoved the Crank off of Newt. The thing scrambled back to its feet to get back to them. Before it could attack again, my sword went through its chest, his chest, I realized as the body slid to the floor. Diseased or not, I'd just killed this man. I didn’t have time to regret it.

"Keep going!" I yelled and we took off running again. I took up the rear of the group, slicing at anything that got too close. I killed five more Cranks as we scrambled out. The Cranks got Winston, but there were too many of them and he was too badly injured for me to go back for him. He hadn't stood a chance. I silently added his blood to my hands; that made the number of people I had killed go up to seven. We kept running.

Finally we got out into open air, managing to temporarily block the doors behind us. Minho found a sheltered spot and we pressed our bodies into the space. We crammed in together, breathless, but still prepared to run again if need be. But, though the creatures screamed and searched for us, eventually the screams sounded further away and the group fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

After a few days the others were so exhausted they could fall asleep on the spot, whatever the spot was. I was just as exhausted as they were but cold fear kept me awake. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Newt taking his last breath. I knew I needed to forget it, to move on, but it stayed with me, constantly haunting me.

My eyes shot open after yet another of the same nightmare. Newt lay beside me in the sand. Gently, I reached over pressed my hand to his chest. When I finally made out his heartbeat, I let myself breathe again. Then I rose and walked away. My watch said I'd been asleep for merely an hour, and though the others would continue to sleep until after the sun rose, I knew I wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight. As silently as I could I walked to the top of the nearest dune. Then I took a seat and stared up at the moon.

"I need to pull myself together." I told it. It remained silent and uninterested in me. Even still, under its cold light, I felt reassured. I wrapped my arms around my knees and stared across the never-ending waves of sand.

"Jules?" I didn't turn around as Newt quietly called out to me from the foot of the dune. After a moment he made it up to my side. "I woke up and you weren't next to me."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"What's wrong?"

My eyes remained forward as I replied. "It's nothing, Love. You should go back to sleep." He simply sat down, his shoulder touching mine.

"So should you." I leaned in, resting my head on his shoulder. "Something's been bothering you. What is it, sweetheart?"

Long moments passed between us as I gathered all of my courage. If I was going to tell him, I would need every bit of it that I had.

" _The Anomaly."_ I quoted the word from my back. "At first I thought that meant that I was the only girl, but I'm not. And then... Remember what Aris said?"

"About breeding? That's not happening, love. I would never let that happen." I shook my head at his words.

"I know you wouldn't. That's not what worries me." I took a deep breath. "If. _If._ that's really their plan, they're going to kill me. We'll survive and make it to the Safe Haven and they'll kill me anyway, because I'm useless."

"What-?" He started to ask but I interrupted him, I had to say these words before I lost my courage to do so.

"They did something to me." My words seemed to bring a chill into the air. Beside me, Newt went rigid, his muscles tense as he waited for me to explain. "Before they put me in the Maze, they did something to me." I pulled away from him and lifted up my shirt enough that he could see the scars. The moon was bright enough that he needed no extra light to see them. "When I got to the Maze, these wounds were fresh, new, like they'd just happened. It made me suspicious at first but it only took a month to realize exactly what they had done to me." I saw it in his eyes the exact moment he realized what the scars meant.

"I can't..." I trailed off, tears stinging my eyes. I'd never spoken about this before, I'd never let myself know just how upset I was about it. But the words caught in my throat even as I said them. "I can't have children, Newt."

"It's okay, Jules." He tried to put his arms around me but I pushed him away.

"No, Newt, listen. I always told myself they did it because I was the only girl, because they didn't trust you shanks not to touch me. And maybe that's true, but they didn't have to. There was a Maze of girls, Newt. I checked with Aris, they didn't do this to the other girls. Just me. They could have put me in that Maze. But instead, they did this to me and sent me up to be with you boys. Why? Why would they do that?"

Newt swept me into his arms, not accepting my protests any longer.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. I don't know." His strong hand rubbed my back gently. "What I do know, is that because they did, I met you and we're together now. The rest doesn't matter."

I stayed quiet for a long time, my biggest fear gnawing at me. "Let go." I whispered. "Let go for a minute." I repeated louder this time. When he released me I scooted away from him.

"I... I should have told you this a long time ago. Don't speak, don't say a word. I need you to think about this carefully, Newt." He bit his lip but nodded. "I can't have children. But the other girls can. If you want-"

"No." He interrupted me and I put my hand against his mouth.

"Don't. I NEED you to think about this. For me, having you beside me is all I want and need. But, if you want children; If you want to ever be a... father," my voice broke on the word, but I forced myself to keep talking. "You can't stay with me. Just... Just think about it for a minute. It's a huge thing to give up, and that's what you'll be doing if you stay with me. You'll be giving up a future with a family."

I'd somehow made it to the end of the speech I'd been rehearsing for over a year, and the strength in my voice surprised me. Finally I took my hand away from his mouth. Newt did exactly what I asked, he thought about it. A long, painful minute passed as he gazed up at the night sky. Part of me didn't want to hear what he decided. It wanted to start running and keep going until the end of the world. But I forced myself to stay still. When he finally looked at me again, his expression was tired more than anything else.

"No matter how much you ask me to think about it, I can't make it matter. We might die tomorrow, in fact, we probably will. I've never even considered living long enough to worry about having kids. No. It doesn't matter. Whether we can have kids or not, all I need is you. If we live through all of this, if at the end of everything, you are still beside me, that's enough for me."

Tears fell freely down my face. "Are you sure?"

"Jules. I'm sure. I've never been more certain of anything."

I wrapped my arms around him with a sob. Until that moment, I hadn't realized I was trembling. We held each other fiercely.

"I love you." I gasped out the words. And Newt just pulled me tighter in his grasp. After a long time, we went back to the camp, laying down where we'd been before all of this.

"I can't believe you were hurting all this time." His whisper was barely audible.

"I'm sorry. I should have trusted you with this sooner." He pulled me closer to him and I placed my head on his chest. Newt pressed a kiss to my head.

"I love you, Juliet."

"And I love you."

For the first time since watching Newt die, I slept well. Which was a good thing, too, because the next day, we needed every bit of our strength.

**The lightning chased them every step of the way. Then a strike landed near Minho, and sent Thomas flying. Thomas looked up just as the boy landed right in front of him. The damage didn't look as bad as it had for some of the others but Minho was on fire. Thomas quickly helped Minho put out the flames on the boys clothes then grabbed him by the chest, hauling him to his feet. The boy looked like he was screaming, but nothing could be heard over the storm. It seemed like an eternity as they fled across the sand. People were dying on every side of them.**

**At one point Minho slipped out of his grasp. The boy was unconscious now, but hopefully still alive. Thomas tried frantically but couldn't move the boy. Desperation fueled his movements and for a horrible second he thought he'd have to leave his best friend.**

**Suddenly hands were helping him. Juliet was there. She grabbed Minho's one arm and pulled him upward. Thomas got the idea and held up Minho's other side. The two of them ran as fast as they could with the unconscious boy between them. The threat continued to rage around them, but they kept running. Some of the others had made it to the building and they gestured for the rest to hurry. Frypan was having to hold back Newt from coming to aid them. Only a moment later they were inside.**

**They laid Minho down on the floor and Thomas shook the boy. He couldn't be dead. Even though Thomas could tell that the Asian kid wasn't breathing he refused to believe that he was dead.**

**A hand shoved Thomas away from Minho, and he stumbled back. When he looked again, in between the lightning flashes he could see Juliet. She placed her ear to Minho's chest then pulled away and started repeatedly pushing into his chest with her fists joined together.**

**The storm still roared over everything, but Thomas saw Newt yell when Juliet leaned over and put her mouth against Minho's. She pulled away and started pounding on his chest again. Vaguely, Thomas recognized the action. He knew, as the others did, that she was trying to save the boy. She had to repeat the process a few more times before Minho jerked back to life. He coughed and flailed for a moment before laying his head back. Now Thomas could see the boy's chest moving; Juliet had saved him. Once she was certain that he was breathing again Juliet stood and walked back over to Newt.**

**That was when Thomas' legs gave out. The others were in a similar state, and for a long time they stared listlessly into the storm, until one by one they fell asleep. The only one who didn't seem affected was Juliet. Her eyes flashed with clarity as she glanced around, her lips moving slightly. Thomas realized she was counting how many of them had made it. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it all out, and was asleep in seconds.**

**Thomas woke once when the roar was fading and his ears could make out a quiet conversation. In the dark he couldn't see them but Juliet was saying.**

**"-the first night when those people that rescued us were still alive I asked one to teach me how to do it. More than once in the Glade I wished I knew how so..."**

**"You saved his life." Newt responded quietly, tenderness was clear in his voice, obviously he forgave her.**

**"I was hoping I wouldn't actually need to know..."**

**"Shhh. It's okay. We're okay."**

 

When the lightning storm hit, I really thought that that would be the end of us. Twelve. Twelve out of the 21 had survived. It wasn't enough. We'd all seen our friends blasted apart or melted on the spot. We'd done horrible things. We'd left our friends to die, painfully and alone, we'd left them. And it showed on the faces of those of us that were left. Eventually, even the sky wept as if repenting for what it had done to us. No one moved. But no tears fell. A wordless sorrow hung heavy over the group.

Finally, I stood. I went to each of them and took what water bottles we had, then I took off my jacket and walked out into the rain. It hurt. The rain came down so hard it tore at my skin relentlessly. Twice I nearly had the bottles ripped from my hands by the force of the downpour. Lightning still laced the sky, but I stayed close enough to the building that any lightning nearby struck the rooftop instead of coming down to the earth and to me. It took mere seconds to fill each bottle. And as soon as they were all full I came back inside, drenched to the bone.

Newt had moved to the door as if to keep an eye on me. We didn't try to speak; we couldn't have heard each other anyway. I desperately wished I could hear his voice though. The unending roar of the storm made it hard to focus on anything other than it. Wordlessly, he helped me redistribute the water to the others. Finally I went to sit by Minho. The boy was trembling, his face twisted in obvious pain. I took an extra shirt from my pack and tore it into strips. His eyes shot open at my first touch, but once he saw me and understood, he slammed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth to grit out the pain. Carefully, I dabbed the wet cloth to his wounds. The water was cold and it took the sting away from the burns. When they felt cool to the touch, I took the strips, dipped them in the water and bound the worst of the wounds as best as I could. He was lucky, it could have been worse. As we all had seen firsthand; it could have been so much worse. It only took a few minutes and one bottle of water to patch him up, but by the time I was done he was sleeping. Whether he'd fallen asleep or lost consciousness, I didn't know, and as long as he was breathing, I didn't care.

 

 

 

**When he woke completely in the morning most everyone else was still asleep. Except Newt, who sat propped against a wall staring at an empty spot in the middle of the room. Juliet was curled up beside him, her head cushioned on his lap. She slept through the boys' quiet conversations and up until a stranger literally dropped in from the ceiling. After Thomas recovered the initial shock of Jorge's entrance, he glanced back and was surprised by Juliet's calm demeanor. She held her sword loosely in her one hand, and her stance seemed almost casual. Thomas briefly wondered if she had been awake the whole time, or if maybe surprise wasn't a thing she even could feel anymore; after all they'd been through, that would probably be normal.**

 

**-**

 

"Jules. I need to talk to you." The entire group was huddled in a craggy ruin. We'd been watching the Berg in the sky for two full days. As soon as they'd taken Thomas, we'd stopped and a timer was sounding down in my mind. If Thomas didn't return by tomorrow, we would have to leave him, or we wouldn't have a chance to make it to the Safe Haven. Finally, I turned my gaze to Newt and back inside the sheltered ruin. The others were all pressed against each other in the one corner where they'd fallen into an exhausted sleep. Newt's eyes were serious so I turned around to face him directly.

"Okay. What's up?"

"I had an idea. Well, sort of. It's..." It was unusual for him to get flustered. He took a deep breath and started again. "I've been thinking about that 'Someday' we talked about."

"Yeah?"

"Someday. When all of this comes to an end. If it ends. When we get to the Safe Haven, get the cure, get away from WICKED or whatever else is in store for us. After all of it is over. We'll have choices to make. What will you do?"

"I'll stay with you." I responded without hesitation.

"You'll have options. Maybe you could even go home." I shook my head and took his hand in mine.

"Even if there's a home for me to go back to, I'm not interested." I had no idea where these questions were coming from, but I knew my answers. "I'll go with you to wherever you came from, if you decide you want to go back there."

"You won't leave me?"

"Not ever. Why-?" He placed a finger over my lips to interrupt my question, then he went down on his knees in front of me.

"Let's just make this official then." A mischievous smile lit up his face as he opened his one hand to reveal a ring sitting on his palm. I felt my eyes grow wide as I realized what he was saying. "Juliet." My gaze jumped from the ring to his eyes which sparked with mirth. "Someday- When all of this is over- Will you marry me?"

A giddy laugh forced its way out of my lungs. "You have to ask? Yes!" I laughed again, breathless. I put my arms around his shoulders as I slid to my knees so we were together in the sand. "I would love to marry you."

"I was hoping you would say that." He told me, and then he pulled me into his arms and his kiss. We laughed. Even as we pressed our lips together, we laughed. It might have been the first sane laughter the Scorch had ever heard. For a moment I was sure that in all my life, memories or not, I'd never been so happy.

Newt pressed his forehead against mine; just smiling and reveling in each other’s touch for a long moment. When we finally pulled away he offered me the ring once more. With a flourish he slipped the ring onto my finger.

"Sorry it's nothing fancy."

I didn't know where he'd gotten the wire to make it. But it was beautiful. The thin wire was twisted into a small circle. Then he had bent it further into a simple knot that made up the adornment and sealed it all at once.

"It's perfect." I told him, and his smile could have lit up the whole world.

"Well, isn't that just shucking lovely?" Minho's sarcastic voice came from behind us. We looked to see that the entire group was awake and staring at us with a range of emotions on their faces. Despite what he had said, Minho was grinning with a smile unlike any I'd seen from him in a long time. Most of the others were wearing smiles, even if their eyes looked sad or confused. But Jorge looked like he'd just swallowed his tongue. I decided to ignore them all. I turned my attention back to Newt, leaning against him again.

"We're going to get married." I told him, unable to contain my excitement.

"Someday." He responded with a grin.

"Someday." I agreed and we kissed again.

Sand rushed in to our hiding spot and the rushing sound of the Berg drew near. Everyone hurried to see what was going on, and it looked like WICKED was lowering Thomas down from the Berg in a net. The others rushed out to grab him. After we pulled each other to our feet I held on to Newt for one extra second before letting go.

"I love you." He told me.

"And I love you." I replied, giving him one more quick kiss before we both ran out into the Scorch right behind the others.

 

 

**-**

**Part of Thomas admired the couple. The two of them had so much hope and together, they were strong. Another, larger, part of Thomas simply felt annoyed at the way they wouldn't stop exchanging grins. Finally he asked them.**

**"What are you two so happy about?"**

**But it was Minho who answered. The boy clapped a hand on Newt's shoulder with a grin of his own.**

**"This shank just asked Juliet to marry him." Once again Thomas was divided. Their happiness was so contagious he wanted to smile along with them. But part of him was astounded at the lunacy that it took to even think about something like marriage when they were in the middle of a situation like this one. The Scorch pressed in, the Cranks were a constant threat, and no one even knew if they'd live to see tomorrow.**

**"Are you serious?"**

**Newt answered him, still grinning. "Of course. If we all make it out of this you might even get to be Best Man."**

**"Hey!" Minho objected. Juliet quickly took a spot between the two boys by throwing an arm around each of their shoulders. As she held on to them humor sparkled in her eyes.**

**"Sure, Tommy can be Best Man, and Minho can be the Maid of Honor."**

**"HEY!" Minho protested even louder. The entire group burst into laughter as the three of them erupted into a good natured debate over the whole thing. Despite the insanity of it all, Thomas found himself smiling. It took a lot of courage to say something like, 'when this is over.' And the effect the words had was evident across each face. Suddenly the entire group had hope.**

**For a moment Thomas wondered if that was the reason they chosen now to make such a decision. But the happiness was so genuine on their faces. It was a selfish happiness and for that reason, Thomas found himself believing in it.**

**Juliet crossed her arms over her chest and stayed as far from Group B as she could. But her gaze never left the girls. Everyone was sitting on the ground near that pathetic flag pole that said "Safe Haven". They spoke to each other quietly, unsure of what to do next. A few of the girls tried to speak with Juliet, but when she refused to say more than a word or two, they eventually left her alone. Juliet's eyes were full of emotion. Fear, anger, sadness. She stared at the other girls like they were the greatest threat she'd seen. The look in her eyes made them seem worse than Cranks, worse than Grievers, worse even than a chamber full of poison gas. Newt reached out for her but she wouldn't respond even to him. In fact, she seemed to pull away from his touch. Finally, Newt moved to sit with the others.**

**"What's her problem?" Minho asked and Newt just scowled in response.**

**"Get talking Tommy. Let's hear all of this bloody long story you mentioned."**

**He explained it all to them. Afterwards, Minho scowled.**

**"And you trust that witch?"**

**"I don't, but..."**

**"You don't hate her." The group turned to Juliet, none of them had realized she was listening. Her strong eyes were focused on Thomas. "You don't trust Teresa. You're not even sure you like her. But, impossibly, after everything, you still can't make yourself hate her."**

**Thomas merely nodded. Juliet had described it so well it was creepy. He felt like she'd crawled inside his head and taken a look around. It wasn't the first time that Thomas wondered if maybe the two of them were more similar than anyone realized.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the time that Thomas was locked in that isolation room.

**As the Berg took them away, everyone fell into shock. No one did a head count, but Thomas knew that at least some of them had died fighting those creatures and running in the storm. Thomas ended up sitting next to Juliet. The girl bounced with a barely contained energy. Newt was on her other side. The tall boys' presence was calming compared to her excited energy.**

**As he looked around, Thomas couldn't help but think that all of this was just another WICKED plot, just another test. And the others thought so too, it showed on the expressions of everyone who was still awake. All of their faces showed that they were at least a little anxious, except for Juliet. The blonde girl sat with a light smile on her lips even though her eyes were already closed.**

**Newt whispered something to Juliet that Thomas couldn't hear, but the girl opened her eyes at the words. She turned her head up to whisper something back to him. They exchanged a wide smile and a quick kiss. After that Juliet snuggled in close to Newt, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head. Thomas envied them. Even though the group had just gone through something horrific, they were able to smile. It was like they were saying that as long as they had each other, they had hope.**

**The last thing Thomas saw before his eyes shut in sleep was Juliet twisting her ring around her finger.**

They lied to us. They had promised that if we made it across the Scorch we would be safe. They promised we could keep our weapons if we wanted. WICKED had made us so many promises, and all of them had turned out to be lies.

When they had corralled all of the surviving kids into a common area, they told us we could stick together. That had been a lie too.

"Not you." One of the guards said, and blocked me from the entrance.

"What?"

"Take her to-" Suddenly I realized what was happening. I tried to force my way past the guards, but the instant I reached for my sword one of the men grabbed me by the arms, immobilizing me.

"Newt!" I shouted and he spun back around to me instantly.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Newt yelled, trying to shove his way back to me.

"Just some tests." One of the guards said in a pacifying tone that no one believed. The entire room erupted in a mob, and the guards suddenly had a fight on their hands, about half the kids jumping into the fray blindly.

"Let her go!" Newt yelled, rushing towards me. In the battle, I managed to tear myself out of the guard's grasp and get my sword free. The guards pulled out their weapons then and the group of kids was forced into submission quicker than I would have thought possible.

"Calm down, kid." Someone tried to tell Newt, who responded by head-butting the man in the face.

"Drop it!" Someone screamed at me, pointing the barrels of their guns at me. The man Newt had head-butted recovered and lashed out, striking him in the face with the gun. I hollered and rushed towards Newt as he collapsed. I only managed to take two steps before they shot me.

Electricity spiked through me, it raced in my veins, sparked across my vision and singed the tips of my hair. I collapsed to the ground, vaguely aware of my sword falling out of my grasp. The last thing I saw was Newt lying unconscious in front of me, blood on his face.

 

When I woke, I was in the Glade. I'd seen this trick before; I knew that I wasn't really there.

"Juliet! You're late! Get running." I didn't know if or how I could stop this fake scene, so I followed along. And honestly, it felt good to be running the Maze again. Everything here was familiar, reliable, and safe. As I ran, I enjoyed it, even as I told myself it wasn't real.

Then I heard the screams. I halted. I'd been here before. I knew what it was, but I couldn't stop myself from peering around the corner. It was exactly the same as before. A Griever attacking a boy.

"This isn't real." I said out loud, refusing to respond. "This isn't real." I said again as the screams continued to rent the air. "This isn't-"

"Juliet!" The scream came and my heart stopped. I knew that voice. And it wasn't Gally. I walked out into the corridor. Newt lay under the Griever, being torn to shreds. "This isn't-," my voice broke even as I said the words. "This isn't real."

"Help me!" Newt screamed back. I couldn't keep ignoring him, my feet carried me forward. I clenched my fists and didn't draw my knife. The Griever turned its hideous head to me.

"This isn't real." I told it, but didn't stop my approach. The creature moved towards me with painful slowness and I tried not to panic. "This is not real." The Griever suddenly stopped and turned back to Newt. Its tail went down with lightning speed and struck him right in the heart.

"No!" I screamed, unable to keep my calm as he died. I drew my knife and charged. The Griever blasted into me, and pain shocked through my body. Blood trickled down my forehead as I crawled over to him.

"Why didn't you help me?" Newt asked me, betrayal in his pain filled eyes.

"I... This isn't real. You're okay. You're okay." I told him, taking his head in my hands.

"You let me die." The words gasped out of his lips and he didn't draw another breath as the life drained out of him.

"Stop! Stop this!" I screamed into the sky. But no response came from my invisible captors. Sorrow overcame my fury and I clung to Newt's body as I cried.

Eventually, Newt, the Maze, the Glade, even the sky disappeared. And I was left in a small metallic room, the truth behind the lie they'd forced me to see. There was a door, a bed with no bedding, a small bathroom, a desk and a large pitch black pane of glass in one wall. Other than those details, nothing stuck out about the entire room.

"Let me go." I whispered, then I gathered my strength. They had lied to me. They made me watch Newt die. I was angry, so very angry. "Let me go." I said again. Rage built up in my chest and I rose to my feet. "Let me go!" I screamed it this time. The door had no handle but was locked from the outside. I pounded on it with my fists, and repeatedly shoved my shoulder into it. I screamed a horrible, wordless cry and rent my fists against the door. After a minute, red slipped into my vision and I blinked it away, wiping at my head. I pulled my hand away and was shocked to see the red liquid on my fingers. The injury that I'd gotten from the Griever was really there. Somehow, the fake scene that I'd witnessed had harmed me. I didn't know how it worked, how they had done that. But the blood only served to fuel my fury.

I tried everything to get out of the room. I tried to break the door and the window with my body. The other objects in the room were bolted down, and I couldn't use them to break out. There was nothing even remotely helpful in the room. I even tried to unscrew the bolts holding the furniture down. I clawed at the screws until my fingers bled, the blood only making it more difficult for me to try to grasp them. Desperation numbed me to the pain as I broke the skin on my knuckles beating on the door and the window.

I wore myself to exhaustion. By the time I was done there were handprints of blood around the door, the window, and every corner that was bolted down. Eventually I couldn't do anymore; I lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

"What are you doing?" A voice came and I opened my eyes only to be blinded by the harsh sun. My throat burned and my lips were chapped. Minho stood over me in the Scorch. The buildings of the Crank city loomed overhead. "Let's keep moving. We have to find Thomas."

"This isn't real." I told him. Minho just snorted at me.

"Yeah. And I'm your shucking grandma. Come on."

When I made it to the end of that lie, that _mind manipulation_ , I woke in the same room as I had before.

It looked just as it had the first time I'd seen it, except for my blood smeared against the sterile walls from where I'd broken my skin trying to beat my way out. The red marks practically glowed against the white of the rest of the room.

A short metallic scraping sound echoed in the room. When I looked around for it, I saw a tray of food slide in a tiny slot at the bottom of the door. I ran over to it, tossing the food out of the way. Then I used the tray to try to get enough leverage to do some damage on the door or the window. All I managed to accomplish was bending the tiny cover of the food slot.

A routine quickly established.

I came in and out of reality, I watched my friends die, and then I would beat at the walls for an escape.

Wounds covered me, the wounds I got during the manipulations stayed with me, and my hands were utterly destroyed from my fruitless efforts to get out of this room.

It became difficult to tell how long I'd been here. But it seemed that more than one manipulation, as I'd grown to call them, would happen a day. Sometimes I was too exhausted to try to remember which parts of life were reality and which were not. I came to expect the horrible outcome of whatever situation I was in. It wasn't just Newt, the others died in my arms too. Minho, Nick, Alby, Thomas, Gally. I often couldn't remember how much of what I'd gone through was true, who was dead and who was still alive.

The 8th time I watched Newt die, I quit. As the isolation room came back into focus, I curled into a ball right there on the floor and determined not move again. Food slid into the room and I refused to move. The Glade flickered in front of my eyes and I refused to move. The Lightning storm crashed all around me and I refused to move. People tried to talk to me, tried to force me to my feet and I still refused to move.

I discovered that I could control the manipulations this way. If someone picked me up in the manipulations, even though I felt as though I moved, the world would stay on its side. If I didn't respond, the scene would carry on, and sometimes shift, but it would either unravel or continue on as if I wasn't lying on my side the entire time. The scenes grew more frightening and violent all the time and I could tell that they were trying to force me to respond but I refused. I wouldn't play the game any longer. Grievers, and Cranks, and even my friends attacked me but I refused to respond. Wounds appeared all over me from the violence of the manipulations, but I didn't react or move to tend to them. Newt appeared, desperately begging me to get up; that one was the most painful one but still, I would not move. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore everything they threw at me.

Finally the scenes stopped changing.

"We've pushed her too far." An unfamiliar voice said. Then Rat Man's voice replied.

"No. Her brain activity is still responding, she knows exactly what she's doing."

"But we're not getting any usable data. We need her. And we need her to respond to the Scenarios. Not to mention the she'll starve if she doesn't eat." The first voice said.

"Obviously you're using the wrong approach." I knew that voice too. Jorge? I finally opened my eyes. There was a small group of people in white lab coats gathered around the desk in my room, as well as a strong looking guard. Sure enough, Jorge was there too. He stuck out from the others, wearing a simple black uniformed outfit. My brain automatically assumed it was just another... What had the stranger called them? Scenarios.

"Well, what would you suggest?" Rat Man asked impatiently. Jorge shrugged easily.

"Give her back the boy."

Jorge left then. He pushed on the door, there was a click, and he just walked out. The others seemed to be lost in a debate but I stared at the now slightly ajar door with varying levels of unease. Everything in me wanted to run out that doorway, but I knew I couldn't trust what I was seeing, couldn't believe this sight for a second.

Finally, the debate seemed to end and the guard came over to me. He knelt down in front of me and an annoying look of pity crossed his face. He wasn't unkind but I didn't let any hope enter me.

"Come on." The man grabbed my shoulders and pulled me upright. At first I did nothing to help him along but the world still righted itself as he held me up. That was how I knew this was real.

So I finally let myself respond. I put my feet under me, though my legs were shaky from the time of lying unmoving on the floor.

The guard held a glass of water out to me, but I wouldn't take it. Finally, he sighed.

"Fine, then." He took me by the arm and started leading me out of the room. As we walked out, I saw my reflection in the observation window. I looked almost as horrible as I felt.

The various wounds I'd been receiving still covered me, scratches and bruises covered every bit of skin I could see. The cut on my forehead I'd gotten the first day was nearly healed but dried blood was caked around it.

My eyes were the worst. They looked dull and distrusting, as if the horrors I'd seen were hidden in them just below the surface. Tear marks streaked down my cheeks, they had washed fine lines through the dirt and blood, lines that now stuck out dramatically from the rest of the details on me.

Rat Man and the guard held onto my arms as I was lead down an empty, plain hallway. I wanted to ask many things, but my throat burned from disuse. I felt weak, and pain coursed through every inch of me. I stumbled once and the guard had to catch me.

"Whoa, there." He said, pulling me back to my feet. "Take it slow, you haven't eaten or even moved in nearly five days."

This eternity had only lasted five days? I couldn't help but find it disappointing that all that effort and suffering had barely gotten me through a single week.

"Here we are." Rat Man said. He used a key card to open a door and the guard pushed me inside none too gently. Without the support of the guard, I immediately stumbled. I fell to my knees just inside the doorway. I didn't even have the energy to raise my head.

"You have ten minutes." The comment didn't seem directed at me as his voice filled the room. Somewhere in the room a chair scraped along the floor and footsteps ran towards me. I knew the sound of those footsteps without even looking. _Newt._

Newt's arms went around me but I didn't respond. For a moment I let my muscles go lax and he had to hold me upright, but the world didn't turn as if I had fallen.

This was real.

A sob caught in my throat and I threw my arms around him. I clung to him as tightly as I could. Tears stung at my eyes.

"Newt." My throat burned just from the one word, but it was enough. Newt pulled away enough to look at me. Pain covered his features as his eyes desperately searched mine. He opened his mouth but the words seemed to get stuck. Right then, I remembered what I'd seen in the reflection and couldn't blame him for being speechless.

"What the shuck happened to you?" I tore my gaze up to Minho, who was staring down at me like I was a pile of klunk. I tried to respond but couldn't make more than a croaking sound.

"Water." Newt said and Minho sprinted away to obey. Newt picked me up in his arms and carried me over to sit on a nearby table. I was vaguely aware of others watching me but Rat Man had said ten minutes, so I didn't have time to focus on anything but Newt. I memorized every detail of him that I could take in, soaking in the information like sand during a desert rain.

Minho brought back two large cups of water and I drank them both. The first cup passed with each swallow being painful and raw, but by the time I was done the second, the water slid down my throat easily. Gently, Newt reached up and brushed my hair out of my face, sucking in a breath when he saw the blood on my forehead.

"What are they doing to you?" Anger and pain shook in his voice. Suddenly I understood why they'd done this, why they'd given him back to me. A feeling I'd thought I'd killed days ago- the desire to live, sprung back to life in my chest.

Wordlessly, I reached up and cupped my hand around the back of his neck, drawing him closer and pressing his lips to mine. When we pulled apart I rested my head against his chest, taking deep breaths before I spoke again.

"I'm so glad you're safe."

"Still worrying about me? Seriously..." When I looked at him he was wearing the smallest of smiles, though his expression was still strained with worry.

"Are the others all okay?"

"Yeah. Mostly. Tommy isn't with us, they told us the Flare was too far gone in him or something. Jorge and Brenda are missing too. A couple of the others were taken for... testing like you were, but the rest of us are here."

"And, in case you were wondering," came Minho's voice from beside me, "none of the others that went through the 'testing' came back looking like they went through a meat grinder." He gestured to me.

"Right. Just me."

"Don't worry. We won't let them take you again." Newt squeezed my hand and a hard edge entered his voice.

I just shook my head, but the fear of returning to that torture froze the protests on my tongue. I knew without a doubt that they weren't done with me and that my friends didn't have any way to stop them. Only a minute later I was proved right.

Rat Man entered the room again, followed by a dozen heavily armed guards. Newt grabbed my hand and pulled me protectively behind him. Minho and some of the other Gladers stood at his side, making a wall between me and the guards. For a moment I let myself feel safe behind them.

"You don't want to do that. Don't think that you children stand a chance." Rat Man declared and I heard the shuffle as the guards raised their weapons. Gently I placed my hand on the middle of Newt's back.

"I have a condition." I said as bravely as I could, but I still didn't step out from behind Newt.

"What are you doing?" Newt growled.

"This isn't a negotiation." Rat Man also growled. I found my courage to peek my head out around Newt.

"You said you needed my cooperation, right? Well, you can have it. I'll cooperate."

"What!?" Both Newt and Minho shouted but I continued speaking as if they hadn't.

"I'll cooperate, only if you'll let me see Newt."

Rat Man frowned, he took a long time to consider it. Meanwhile Newt spun around with desperation in his eyes. His fingers dug into my shoulders as he lowered his voice to speak to me.

"You don't have to do this."

"We can't stop them. And no one else has to get hurt on my account." I reached up and brushed the cut on his nose from where he'd been hit the last time we had tried to fight them.

"Okay!" Rat Man said, suddenly enthusiastic as if the idea had been his. "You can see your friends here, for ten minutes a day just like today. What a generous offer on our part." Then his voice turned hard as he barked out an order to the guards. "Go get her."

Newt started to turn back as if to stop them but I grabbed his hand.

"Don't. Just look at me." When he did I forced a smile, but I couldn't stop the fear from making my voice tremble. "I’ll- I'll see you tomorrow."

Sorrow twisted his features and he pulled me into his arms. He was shaking just as much as I was.

"I love you." I whispered. Then hands were pulling us apart.

Despite what I'd said we both still struggled. I saw him shove against the guards holding him back. And I couldn't stop myself from digging in my heels and trying to slow our progress out of the room. An abrupt silence filled the hall as the door closed behind the group.

"Remember that you said you would cooperate." Rat Man said and I just nodded, finally giving up on fighting the guards. "You two." He pointed at two female guards. "Take her to get cleaned up." Then he turned to me, a greasy smile on his face. "Then, we will continue."

They were true to their word. But I quickly decided that it was those ten beautiful minutes a day that would kill me. I lived for those ten minutes, though a piece of me died every other minute of each day. And the isolation room seemed to shrink every day, it became harder and harder to return to it, though I found myself resisting less each time. When I caught sight of my reflection the sight hurt my heart. Dark circles soon surrounded my eyes that lost their light a little bit more every day, until they looked lifeless and shallow. My life turned as grey as the sky in the Glade had, when our life there fell apart. Even the food they gave me tasted like ash. The initial wounds I'd gotten faded, and though I tried to be more careful, more always appeared.

The Scenarios got more difficult to go through. But the more of them I went through, the easier I could tell the differences between Scenario and Reality. It still hurt, even knowing that it was fake, it hurt. And the hurt ate away at me. Even when I was in reality, every time I'd close my eyes I'd be seeing someone I love die.

When they finally announced that I was done Phase Three, I was broken. I could feel it in myself. The others chose not to talk about what they'd been through and that suited me just fine. The images haunted the back of my eyelids but I hoped that eventually that would fade. I never wanted to even have to think about it again.

On the 23rd day of this torture Rat Man entered the room. He sat at the desk and had a long talk with me. I didn't know why he'd explain everything, why he felt he needed to after all this time. Most of what he said rolled off my back; I couldn't make myself care about any of their shucking reasons. But one thing he told me put ice in my veins. After that, they released me into the common room with the others.

Some of the others were missing, including Newt, so I went and sat on the floor in one corner, ignoring the chairs and the kids that sat in them. Hours passed without event, and that was how I knew that this was reality. The Scenarios were always hurried; a hundred things could happen in an hour. But not here. The kids, my friends, talked to each other, ate food, walked around, but not even a single thing if note happened.

"Jules!" Came a shout and Newt hurried over to me. "Have you been here all day? What's going on?"

I shot to my feet and met him halfway, throwing my arms around him. "I'm done the shucking Phase Three thing. They said I was done and put me in here."

"Me too. They told me I was done as of today."

"Did they say anything else?" I asked cautiously. Even before he shook his head I could see the answer in his eyes. For a moment hope rose in me; maybe what they told me had just been another lie, another test.

"They've been really vague about everything. You too, yeah?"

I felt the sorrow slip onto my face before I could hide it. "No. They've been painfully specific with me." His brow furrowed.

"What did they say?"

I just shook my head. It all still hurt too much. For a moment, there was a frightening anger in his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and his face softened with its familiar kindness. What was that? The hope I'd just felt within me shrank all at once, replaced with a sickening fear.

"Are you... Feeling okay?"

"My head buggin' hurts. Other than that, sure." Newt said the words with a casual shrug, but my heart fell in my chest. I had been holding on to the hope that they had lied to me about Newt, but I could see the truth for myself. After all the lies, for this to be the one thing they told the truth about... It was just too cruel.

I pulled away from Newt, starting to stumble away aimlessly. His hand caught my wrist as I turned away from him.

"Jules? Where are you going?"

"I just, can't do this right now. I... I'm not well, Newt. I just need some time."

His eyes softened, he looked at me with such gentleness, I could have cried. If it would have been before Phase Three, I would have, but not now. I didn't know if I even could cry anymore.

That was when I died. Everything that happened afterwards was all a result of that moment. Phase Three had destroyed me. And, unlike all the other times I'd been beaten down or broken; this time I did not recover. Only half of my heart was in everything I did, for the rest of my heart died the day I found out that Newt was not immune.

 

My self-imposed isolation lasted only about an hour. Until my mind realized that the time we had wouldn't last long at all, and I couldn't let myself waste it.

So I wandered over to Newt, sadness weighing on my soul, and I silently gripped the corner of his shirt in my hand. I couldn't bring myself to speak. For quite a while, I trailed after Newt in almost complete silence. There was concern in his eyes, but when he'd talk to me I'd only answer with a nod or a shake of my head, then I'd press myself closer into his arms. Whenever I could, I'd touch him, I ran my fingertips over his arm, or put my arms around him. The others were recovering much better than I was. Even those that were separated from the others were slowly being returned to the group and were returning to normal.

But normal didn't exist for me anymore. My soul had died the moment I learned that Newt wasn't immune. It was too much, it was too cruel, for me to continue as if it was okay. So I didn't even try. I just held on to Newt as tightly as I could and no one could take him away from me.

The first night that I'd been released from my isolation and begun sticking close to him, they almost tried to separate us again. The living areas were divided into girls and boys areas, and when the guards called for curfew I'd continued  to stick to  Newt's side and the guards had tried to stop me.

"Listen, Missy. There are rules for a reason, so get back with the others." The guards' tone was sharp but he didn't raise his weapon. I just clung tighter to Newt, almost hiding behind him, and Newt accepted my weakness in stride. He took my hand in his strong grip.

"We stay together." Newt told the guard firmly. The guard scowled then and raised his Launcher at us.

"Don't make me use this." The moment the threat was from his mouth I threw myself in front of Newt. My chin raised defiantly as I spread my arms wide. The guards' jaw clenched and I was certain that he'd shoot me but I didn't back down. No one would hurt Newt, not anymore, not as long as I was here.

"What's this?" The Rat Man appeared suddenly with his signature frown of disapproval. The guard quickly explained that I was not cooperating, but I didn't lower my arms or back away. Rat Man looked into my eyes intently for a long moment, before finally saying, "It's fine. Let her be. She's been through enough."

Pity from the Rat Man made my stomach turn, kindness from the Rat Man made  bile build up in my throat. I wanted to punch him in the face, or puke all over his immaculate white suit. But he walked away before I could do either. The guard finally lowered his weapon and let us pass.

That night I fell asleep to the sound of Newt's heart beating just below my ear. It was a sound I hadn't heard in what felt like an eternity, and I hadn't realized just how dearly I'd missed it.

The next day I let Newt out of my reach, contenting myself by keeping him within my eyesight. The others started noticing. Minho must have asked me a dozen times what was wrong. Minho, my best friend, even after all that he meant to me and all that we had been through together I couldn't answer him. The only reply I gave him was the sorrow deep in my eyes. After a while he stopped asking.

My mind felt like it was racing but it was only focused on one thought. In my mind I  heard Rat Man saying the words over and over, "Newt is not Immune." We'd worked so hard to get here, we'd fought and suffered. Kids had died. I'd watched my friends die, I'd abandoned kids who needed me, I'd killed people who stood in my way. But none of that meant a single thing if Newt and I didn't come out of this alive and together. And now we never would. Everything we went through, everyone who had died, and it was all in vain. Again the words sounded in my head like an executioners blade hitting the chopping block. "Newt is not Immune."

The chair clattered to the floor as I rose abruptly. My legs carried me to the door and it's guards before anyone could stop me. Newt called out to me but I didn't stop. I marched up to the guards.

"I need to see Ra- Janson. Now."

When I got my wish and was ushered into a painfully white room, I got straight to the point. I sat down in the chair and glared across the desk.

"You will tell me the truth." I demanded, continuing before he could get a word in. "Tell me how long it would take. If you magically found exactly what you needed to make a cure, how long would it take to actually make it."

"You're asking this bec-"

"Don't analyze me. Answer the question." The words came out in a growl but he still took his time before answering.

"When we find out what makes you kids immune, we have to find a way to reproduce it, run tests, and actually make it... Months, at least."

"Months." Softly I repeated the word, "Months. He doesn't have that, does he?"

The look in Rat Mans eyes was all the answer I needed. Before he could speak again I pushed back from the desk and turned away. I walked back to the  common room without another word and didn't make another sound for days.

At night, Newt pulled me in close and held me gently against his chest.

"Jules. I'm worried about you." His hand gently brushed along my back as he whispered the words into the dark. I silently shook my head against his chest.

"Are you trying to tell me not to be?" A long moment of silence passed and his arm squeezed around my shoulders. "I know you're not well right now. But... Will you return to me?"

Sadness caught in my throat as I opened my mouth and spoke for the first time in days. "I will." My next thought made me slam my eyes shut to fight back the tears. 'But you won't.'

I couldn't even begin to pull myself together until Thomas arrived. The pain in my soul had turned it numb, but I knew then that everything was about to change. Thomas tended to do that, but more importantly, with him joining the group again, that meant that everyone who had survived thus far was now back together. And I couldn't think of that meaning anything but trouble.

Soon we were back to fighting for our freedom and our lives. But it was good. It was good to have something else to focus on, to shoot for. Finally, I started to return to myself. There was a giant hole in my chest and I could never be rid of it, but I held on to Newt and pretended that I could deal with it all later.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

**After weeks of being completely isolated, it was reassuring just to see the others again. As Rat Man brought him to the room with the others relief washed over Thomas. It seemed that everyone was there. The kids were talking, joking, laughing. They all seemed fine, or maybe they were faking really well, either way, they were alive at least.**

**A distinct lack of movement in one corner caught his eye. Juliet sat at the end of one table her fist's under her chin, staring into the distance. It was strange that the others seemed to be leaving her alone. And, strangest of all, she wasn't next to Newt. The differences from the last time he'd seen her felt like a slap in the face. She noticed him before the others did, turning her head to look at him as he stood in the doorway. As soon as her gaze fixed on him his breath caught in his throat. Even from here he could see that her eyes were bloodshot; but they didn't look swollen as if she'd been crying. Suddenly he was reminded of the time she'd almost died because she'd stopped breathing. Whatever she'd been through, it had been horrible. Thomas quickly looked around the room for the others, but before he could ask about Jorge and Brenda, Minho saw him and shouted out to him. Minho and Newt ran over to him, pulling him further into the room. They both looked pretty much normal, even though Newt's voice was grumpier than normal. Thomas' gaze wandered back to Juliet but she had already turned her attention back to the empty space in front of her.**

 

**"What's up with Juliet?" When Thomas asked the question, the other boys exchanged glances. Finally, it was Frypan who explained.**

**"Some of the others have been comparing notes. Nobody went through the exact same thing in the last couple weeks. About half of the group stayed together in the dorms, but they were separated for the 'one-on-ones' during the day. The other half were basically in isolation, almost like you were. Newt was with the group, Juliet was not. They let the two see each other for ten minutes every day."**

**Newt cut in abruptly, his voice shaking. "It was like bloody torture. Not knowing what she was going through, but seeing her grow so much worse and weaker by the day."**

**"They didn't exactly take it easy on any of us. But those two had it way worse than the others with such an obvious weak spot for WICKED to manipulate." Frypan explained and Minho agreed,**

**"And just look at her. She's been shucking tortured. Under those bandages she's covered in cuts and bruises. I haven't even heard her speak since they let her join the rest of us a few days ago." The concern was obvious in all of them. Though they hadn't always gotten along Thomas still considered Juliet a friend and he wondered if there was anything he could do for her. But he never got the chance to find out because it wasn't long after that that Rat Man and a swarm of scientists came into the room.**

 

**When Rat Man said he was going to restore their memories, everyone reacted differently. But it was Juliet's response that surprised him the most. For a moment everyone sat in stunned silence. Thomas thought about the memories he'd gotten back during the Changing and his gaze wandered over to her almost unconsciously. Even Juliet seemed to be holding her breath, she held completely still except for a terrible trembling that had come over her. When she returned his gaze, he saw fear in her expression.**

**"No." Juliet finally said, her voice clear over the silent room.**

**And someone from their own group that Thomas didn't know well, he thought it was a boy named Jackson, yelled back. "It's easy for you to say. You have at least some of your memories!"**

**"That's why I'm saying it, you shank!" She said back, her words lacked strength but not conviction. "Take it from someone who knows. You don't want to remember."**

**Yet as they formed groups and discussed it, it was Juliet that argued for going along with it. "I meant what I said- forget the memories. But, if they can get rid of what can control us that changes things. That has to change thing." Suddenly they all seemed to be studying the haunted look in her eyes until she finally looked away. "Either way, you guys decide. I'm with you."**

**It wasn't the first time since they'd been reunited that Thomas noticed the change in Juliet. She seemed reserved, quiet, almost like she was trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. The change really didn't suit her at all. In fact, it made her seem... broken.**

**-**

**They read off the list of those who were not immune, and Thomas panicked. Of all the people it could have been, Newt was the worst. Newt had to be the worst, even though until that exact second Thomas hadn't known just how much he cared for the older boy.**

**"Tommy. Calm down." Juliet said quietly.**

**Thomas stared at her in shock, her arms were crossed, her posture almost at ease. "How? How can you be calm knowing-"**

**"Slim yourself, Tommy." Newt said, his face pulled tight in a forced grin. Thomas looked from Juliet, to Newt, and back to Juliet. Her face was calm but her fingers clenched at her arms.**

**_She knew_ ** **, he realized. Somehow, she had known. She wasn't surprised, and neither was Newt. Maybe Newt had felt it in him, but Juliet- she shouldn't have known.**

**That was when Thomas finally had a moment to study Juliet. Though he had already noticed some differences in her, the entirety of the change about her hit him hard. Juliet looked unwell. She was actually thinner, and her bloodshot eyes were surrounded by dark marks that seemed almost bruised. A bandage covered most of one of her arms and the opposite hand. He also noticed then that she didn't have her sword; she somehow looked incomplete without it hanging at her side. Now that he was thinking about it, he had barely noticed Juliet since they'd all come back together. She was nothing like the girl she had been, who had demanded respect and attention everywhere she went. Once again he found himself thinking that she seemed broken somehow. Whatever WICKED had done to her in Phase Three, it had been bad. Maybe even worse than what the others had gone through.**

**-**

**When they declined to have the Swipe removed, the four of them were shoved into a single dorm room. Thomas had half expected Juliet to go through with the procedure, but when they had called her name she had simply shaken her head and put her hand in Newt's.**

**While the four of them waited for tomorrow Minho lost his nerve and started talking about listening to WICKED. Thomas couldn't believe his ears and made a stupid comment without thinking.**

**Juliet flinched like he'd slapped her. She gasped and jerked her hand away from Newt, pulling herself into a protective ball. Newt saw her reaction and turned to Thomas, a raging fury in his eyes. There was a barely concealed threat in the clench of Newt's fists. Suddenly it hit Thomas what he'd just said, 'maybe you can find a nice pretty girl who works here, settle down, get married, and have kids...'**

**He barely suppressed a groan as he understood what he'd said. When the Rat Man, Janson, had proclaimed Newt as a Crank, the man had murdered the couple's plans for a future together. And without meaning to, Thomas had just danced on their grave.**

**"I'm sorry. Juliet, I didn't mean t-"**

**"Don't expect me to cry, Tommy." Her voice snapped at him fiercely, though she didn't stop hugging her knees. Then her voice dropped almost as if she were speaking to herself and not him. "Crying won't help, so I won't cry." The words sounded practiced, like she'd rehearsed them, said them to herself a hundred times. Even as she said the words, her fingers fiddled with her engagement ring.**

**Newt silently took her hand once more. The boy looked like he had a thousand things to say but he seemed to know that no words would be enough. Instead, he pulled her hand up to his lips and brushed a kiss across it.**

**-**

**In the days that followed, Thomas couldn't believe that Juliet never cried. She stayed beside Newt constantly, even when the boy stormed off in a fit of madness induced fury.**

**When Newt walked out of the room for a second time, Thomas started giving orders. The others were willing to listen to him but Juliet snapped her head around to look at him. Her eyes were still cold and emotionless but her voice was sharp.**

**"Don't do that. The others can follow you like little lambs if they want. Just don't expect me to." The girl grabbed two belts of pistols, four guns in total, and headed for the door. Juliet didn't leave the room. She merely leaned on the doorframe, her gaze turned protectively into the hall.**

**"Well, we're off to a great shucking start." Minho muttered as he turned back to the shelves.**

**-**

**"I'll go with him. Whether he likes it or not." Jules said, pushing some ammo into her back pockets. Some of her old confidence seemed to be returning, her eyes looked brighter and more focused than they had since they'd all been reunited.**

**When the two of them finally returned Newt pulled Thomas aside and handed him something. Every action from the boy seemed to be rejecting Juliet, and there was a thin layer of hurt in her eyes. But when she saw Thomas looking at her she raised her chin defiantly. Then she turned and he was surprised to see an old friend at her side.**

**"Where did you even find that?"**

**Juliet's hand went to the knife, as her lips pulled together in a strained smile. "You didn't think I'd go on yet another god-forsaken journey without this, did you?"**

**"Alright. Well, we don't have time to wait around. Let's move." Minho called and they all hurried down the hallways.**

**As promised, Brenda aimed her pistols at the men's knees; Juliet made no such promise, and did no such thing. The cold look in her eyes shocked Thomas down to the core; he thought then that she was no longer the same girl she had been in the Glade. But when he got shot with a Launcher and fell from the Berg she was the first one back at his side, though the others quickly joined her.**

**When he woke up the first thing he saw was Brenda. The second thing was Juliet. The blonde girl sat with her elbows on her knees, staring off into the space in front of her. Newt lay beside her, asleep but close enough that they were just touching. Thomas didn't know what to make of Juliet anymore, she seemed completely different, but in some ways she was the same Juliet they'd always known. Like when he'd been hit with the launcher, it was very much like her to be the first one to protect one of their friends. But her eyes continued to hold their haunted expression.**

**In all the time he'd known her, Juliet had never been one to sit still; even when they'd been on the Berg headed for the Safe Haven, she'd been bouncing with a nervous energy. But now, she sat perfectly still, except that her right hand fingers spun her ring around its finger. For a moment, when she glanced down at the sleeping Newt her expression softened and she looked like her old self again. Then she put her head in her hands with a sigh, and didn't move again until everyone met for a Gathering.**

**-**

**Newt and Juliet stayed beside each other as they always had, but there was a difference in the way they dealt with each other. The change between them was almost harder to watch than the change in Newt. They suffered together and it showed in every little thing. Their hands stayed together, but even Thomas could tell that the touch had changed. It was tentative, and had lost it's easy familiarity. They both seemed fearful, not of each other, but of the inevitable loss they would have to go through.**

**Every time Thomas looked at them, pain flashed across his chest. It hurt just to watch what his friends were going through, he couldn't even imagine the pain they must be feeling.**

**-**

**Juliet stayed on the Berg with Newt, but as soon as Thomas got the note from Gally, he wished that she was there. Gally and Juliet had been friends. If the boy was here he probably wouldn't appreciate seeing Thomas, who had tried to beat the life out of him last time they'd seen each other. But the decision had been made and they couldn't go back for her, though Thomas decided to mention Juliet to Gally if things started to go south.**

**-**

**They found Juliet unconscious in the Berg. And a note left by Newt saying that someone had taken him and it was for the best. When she woke up they were already on their way to save him. Which was a good thing too, since her eyes declared that she would have murdered them all if they'd tried to leave Newt behind.**

*****

**"The Anomaly." She quoted the name off her back. "I have something none of the others, in either of the groups, have. I have Newt. They wanted to test how the Flare worked with every emotion. But I'm the only... subject who has the emotion and experience of love." Her voice was metallic, it sounded cold and detached as she explained it to him. "They tested it by pushing it to its limits. The whole manipulating our minds thing was a cruel joke. I can't even tell you how many times I watched Newt die or be tortured. And the times I looked up from my own torture to see he was the one doing it..." She took a deep breath and Thomas emphasized with her. He may not have loved Teresa the same way, but he'd felt the betrayal. He knew it wasn't something he would ever get over. "By the time they were done I couldn't even tell which things were reality, and which were the Scenarios. I'm still half afraid that I'm just going to wake up in that room again. Something in me broke, Tommy. But I held on to hope. No matter how many times he died in my arms, I kept thinking that it was a test, and that he was okay. I knew I'd wake up in that room and have to go through it again. And I knew that Newt was okay, that he was somewhere nearby being tested too. I thought they couldn't do anything else to crush me. Then they told me that he isn't immune. When they put me back with the others, I could see it in him. Something in me died then. I won't live without him, Tommy. I refuse to live without him. I'll do whatever it takes to keep him alive, if that means I die in his place, so be it... That would probably be good, actually."**

*****

**-**

**"Newt." Juliet's voice was soft as she moved in front of the crazed boy. Newt had been ignoring her until now, addressing the others but not her. But as she called his name, sorrow replaced everything else in his expression.**

**"Get out of here." He tried to growl, raising the gun at her without conviction.**

**"You promised me a Someday." Juliet said. The quiet accusation carried a horrible weight, something that Thomas didn't understand but it was obvious that Newt did. The effect was instant. The boy's expression became horribly pained and fear crept into his eyes. Newt turned to the boys, gesturing at them with the gun.**

**"Make Jules leave and get the shuck out!" No one responded, but as Juliet drew close to him Newt turned the gun back at her. "Stop. Please! Don't make me shoot you!" The trembling had taken over so much that Thomas feared that Newt might pull the trigger by accident. Juliet must have thought so too, because she stopped. But when she spoke her voice wasn't gentle, it was firm and almost challenging.**

**"Get on with it and shoot me then, because I am not leaving without you. Come back with us." After a moment she added in a whisper, "Come back to me."**

**Something about the desperation in her voice must have gotten through to Newt because he stopped shaking, his grip on the gun relaxed just a little.**

**"I can't." His voice broke, "I'm a Crank. I'm a bloody Crank, Jules. Just go."**

**Other Cranks joined the party then. After a brief fight and some threats from Newt everything calmed back down. The entire time, even when Minho was fighting with a Crank, Juliet kept her eyes on Newt. When Newt fired the Launcher, she didn't even look back to see who he had shot the weapon at.**

**"You really won't leave?" Juliet asked him after a long moment of silence.**

**"No." An obvious relief passed across Newt's face as he thought she would leave him. Juliet still didn't turn back to them, even as she said the words that sent chills up Thomas' spine.**

**"Thomas, Minho. Get going. Head back the Right Arm, like you planned."**

**"You go too!" Newt almost screamed, panic in his voice as if the madness had come back suddenly.**

**"No." She said firmly. Newt's eyes grew wide and darted around in desperation.**

**"Tommy. Take Jules. Drag her out of here if you have to!" Despite himself Thomas obeyed almost unconsciously, reaching out to grab her arm.**

**"Let go, or lose your hand." Juliet said, her hand suddenly on her sword.  The calm words frightened him even more than Newt's panicked ones had. He instantly let go, looking from one to the other. Suddenly he absolutely despised that he was in the middle of this mess.**

**Newt kept shaking his head and he pleaded with her. "You don't understand. I don't want you here! I don't want you to watch as I-"**

**"Slim it, shuck-face!" She yelled at him, enough insanity in her voice to make Thomas wonder if she was the one with the Flare. "I won't live without you! I won't. So, you stay, I stay." Then she sat down. Amidst the Crank filled hall, in the filth and grime, Juliet sat as if it was all decided.**

**"As for you guys. You need to go. While you can." Jorge and Brenda grabbed them and Thomas didn't resist as they started pulling them away. Juliet's voice stopped them one more time.**

**"And Minho? Tommy?"**

**For the first time since they'd found Newt, Juliet turned to look at them. Her eyes were dark and serious, they latched onto his soul and wouldn't accept anything but his absolute dedication.**

**"Make them pay."**

**Thomas didn't have a doubt in his mind who she meant. WICKED. And he would. Whatever it took, he would make them pay.**

 

 

**"I can't believe we did that." Minho said and Thomas was shocked by the look on his face. Minho, who always moved on with a joke, who never mourned any of the losses they had faced. The kid had always been the strong one, the rash one, the leader. But now, tears formed in his eyes and he stood there looking like his heart had just been physically ripped out of his chest. Thomas suddenly realized the pain he felt was nothing compared to what Minho was going through. Juliet had once called Minho her best friend, but until this moment Thomas hadn't given it any thought. Now Minho had lost his two best friends, right in front of him, in the same moment. The years those three had spent together seemed to physically weigh on the boys shoulders.**

**Not even Jorge seemed capable of making a stupid comment after what had just happened.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

**"Newt. Where's Juliet?" The clarity seemed to seep from the boys eyes as a  hazy look came over them.**

**"Jules." Newt said softly. "She stayed with me. When you guys left, she stayed." The clarity snapped back into his eyes so fast it made Thomas take a step back. "You have to take her with you, Tommy."**

**"Where is she, Newt?"**

**"Never far." The boy said, and then he pointed. Thomas had to turn but he finally saw the girl leaning against one of the over-turned vehicles. Juliet was maybe forty feet away and she didn't move, even when they made eye contact. She looked even worse than Newt did. Even from this distance it was obvious that her wounds were severe. A makeshift splint had been tied to her one leg, and she stood so no weight was on that leg at all. A sweatshirt she hadn't been wearing before was over her shoulders but her clothes were just as torn and stained as Newt's. Her hair was matted, and covered in a layer of dirt. Blood in various stages of freshness caked every inch of her. Finally she raised one hand as if to wave, but only managed to lightly shake the gun in her fist, her other hand still gripping her sword.**

**"She's alive." For some reason it surprised Thomas and he spoke out loud.**

**"Of course she is. You think I would let anything happen to her? The bloody Flare or not? Even though you left her there?"**

**"Newt, come with me this time. We'll take you somewhere safer, somewhere better to..."**

**Newt screamed at him until Lawrence threatened to shoot the boy.**

**As Thomas turned to stop Lawrence he saw Juliet tuck her sword into her belt, push away from her hiding place, and start to limp over. Her shambling run made her look sickeningly like a Crank. Only a moment later Newt knocked Thomas to the ground, gripping his shirt, all while screaming accusations at him.**

**"Stop it." Juliet said, her voice cold and hard. When Thomas' eyes found her he was shocked at what he saw. Juliet stood over them both, the barrel of her pistol edging against the side of Newt's head. "You're not past the Gone. Come back. Come back to me." Thomas thought the words would work, he'd seen the way they worked the last time she said them. But this time was different. Newt merely snarled. Suddenly the boy struck at Juliet, smashing her in her injured leg. She collapsed with a loud gasp, clutching at her hip. It must have been a previous injury because even though the boy had merely punched her, blood gushed out between her fingers. She had to take short quick breaths and it seemed she was fighting not to scream. For a horrible second Thomas wondered just how many of the injuries she had had been caused by Newt.**

**"Is that a Munie?" Lawrence called from the van. "What the hell is she doing out here?" It took her long seconds but she crawled around to take a spot between the boys and the van, though it seemed she couldn't even get to her feet.**

**"Newt." Juliet's voice cracked over the word. "Let Tommy go."**

**"You don't understand. You don't understand anything! It's all his fault!"**

**"I understand. You asked him to kill you, and he didn't, right? Don't forget," She pointed her gun at him again, her hand shaking from the effort of holding it up. "That's why I'm here. Now let him go."**

**Newt snarled again but his grip on Thomas lessened. Finally he let go and leaned back. Thomas sat up, the three of them making an odd triangle on the pavement in the middle of the street. Thomas could finally look over at Juliet. Her whole body was trembling. Her breaths were ragged and pain was displayed all over her face.  The rips in her clothes revealed that her wounds were way worse than he'd originally thought. Dark, unhealthy blood seeped from her side, infection obvious from the color of the skin around it. And she kept her gun trained at Newt. She didn't even look at Thomas as she said,**

**"Why the shuck did you come, Tommy? You shouldn't be here."**

**Thomas felt the words stick in his throat but he had to try to convince them, "Come with me this time."**

**"No." Juliet said but Newt spoke right over her.**

**"Jules. This is it. You have to go with him. You're dying."**

**"So are you. I'm not going anywhere."**

**The Flare entered the boys’ expression again. "Get the shuck away from me! Go away! Go away!" For a second it looked like he might hit her again but she didn't move out of the way. After a breath the wild look in his eyes faded slightly, but it didn't disappear entirely. "We both know I don't have long, the Flare comes more and more often." Thomas expected Juliet to deny it, to say it didn't matter, but she didn't. Instead, she merely let her hand, and the gun, fall to her side. Her acceptance hit Thomas like a ton of bricks. Newt leaned over to Juliet and gently brushed his thumb along her cheek. "This is the only way you, at least, can live." Juliet placed her hand over his where it rested on her cheek.**

**"I won't leave you."**

**"No, you won't." He drew his hand away suddenly. "Because Tommy here is going to fulfill his promise to me." Newt moved so fast Thomas didn't have time to react. He grabbed at Thomas' hand, jerking the gun up against his own forehead. "Isn't that right, Tommy? Stop being a shuck coward and pull the trigger."**

**"That's enough!" Juliet raged, she grabbed at the barrel of the gun to pull it away but Newt was too strong.**

**From the van there was the sound of the door opening and the pilot called out.**

**"We're coming to get the Munie!"**

**"Good. They're doing the right thing. Now it's your turn." The madness took over Newt's eyes and Thomas found he couldn't look away. The boy pressed in, pushing the barrel of the gun into his skin. "Do it!"**

**"I can't!" Thomas shouted back. Newt launched himself forward with a growl. He pushed Thomas down and sat on his chest. Rage made the boy tremble as he shouted accusations at Thomas.**

**"All of this has been your fault! It's all been you! Take responsibility! Kill me."**

**"Knock it off!" Juliet cried, fear evident in her voice. Thomas couldn't take his eyes off of Newt but he heard Lawrence grab Juliet and start pulling her away. "Let go of me!" She screamed and flailed but her wounds had made her too weak to free herself. Lawrence grabbed the girl by the arms dragging her back towards the van.**

**"KILL ME!" Newt screamed at Thomas.**

**"STOP IT!" Juliet screamed. She continued to fight but her resistance wasn't getting her anywhere. "NEWT! NO! Thomas, stop it right now! Just STOP!" But Thomas couldn't. He barely even heard her as he stared at what was left of his friend. When he'd seen Juliet accept Newt's words he'd already known then what he had to do. Newt blinked hard and sanity returned to him for just a moment. Just long enough.**

**"Please, Tommy. Please."**

**With his heart sinking in his chest, Thomas pulled the trigger.**

 

**The gunshot rang in Thomas' ears for a long time. Long after he'd closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. Long after he'd run to the van without looking back. His memory held on to the sound and wouldn't let him escape it. The next thing he heard was Juliet. It seemed all of the tears she'd been keeping in over the last few days were finally free. Her sobs were released in painful gasps, as if she couldn't get enough air in her lungs to cry loudly. The sound tore at Thomas' already breaking heart.**

**When he tried to reach out for her she pulled back abruptly, pressing herself against the wall of the van as far from him as she could get. Thomas understood her horror, he felt it himself. He looked down at his hands, the hands that had just murdered his friend, and his own tears streaked down his cheeks.**

**"What have I done?" But no one answered. The only reply he got was Juliet's shuddering sobs that filled the air.**

 

**By the time they reached the Berg her sobs had reduced to hiccups and silent tears that continued to pour down her face. Thomas barely noticed anything, his horror and shock numbing it all out, until sleep fully blocked out everything.**

**When he woke his eyes fell first on Juliet.**

**She lay on her side across the Berg from him, her eyes were open and staring straight ahead, devoid of all emotion. She'd gotten cleaned up and her wounds had been bandaged as best they could be. A heavy parka and a pack sat beside her. Thomas eyes got stuck on those two things as he realized what they meant.**

**"What are you doing?"**

**Slowly her eyes wandered over to him but still no emotion crossed her face, and she didn't move.**

**"I'm going with you. The others explained; get inside, destroy WICKED. Sounds good to me."**

**"But your injuries! You need medical-"**

**"The wounds are infected and have been infected for a long time. It's unlikely that even WICKED has the technology to save me. I know that." She hadn't moved at all other than her lips and eyes as she spoke to him. Her skin was pale and her whole body was trembling slightly. "I'll go with you, I have enough strength left for that anyway."**

**"Don't waste your breath trying to talk her out of it, kid. We tried." Lawrence said as he entered the room. "And she's right. Those injuries of hers are bad. Real bad. The Right Arm doesn't have the resources to save her." He said the words as if she wasn't there, but if she minded it didn't show. "Go get cleaned up. We'll be there soon."**

 

**Juliet didn't speak as they trudged their way through the snow. Her injured leg made the going slow, but he helped her. At first when he offered, he'd expected her to reject him, but instead, after a long moment, she had wordlessly stretched out her arm to him. So Thomas put her arm over his shoulders and together they pushed through the snow. No words passed between them as they walked. Thomas couldn't think of a single thing that he could say that wouldn't just make this whole mess worse. Juliet said nothing, only keeping her eyes straight forward. Every now and then tears would fall from her eyes silently but neither of them acknowledged it. Minho had said it best when they'd first left Juliet and Newt in that bowling alley, "How did the world get so shucked up?" Thomas thought the sentence to himself a hundred times as they continued their trek. After a while the snow got less deep and the going became easier. Eventually they stopped for a break beneath some trees. Thomas already felt like the events from the past couple of days were suffocating him, but with Juliet there he couldn't begin to ignore the weight of what he'd done.**

**A pair of squirrels ran past, chittering loudly as they chased each other. For just a moment, the tiniest of smiles found it's way on to Juliet's lips as her eyes followed the tiny creatures. Then, all at once, the sorrow returned, painting her expression with pain. Though the ache Thomas felt in his chest burned at him, he knew she was suffering more than he could even imagine. Suddenly he had to say something.**

**"Juliet. I know it won't make up for it but I'm-"**

**"Don't!" The sorrow didn't disappear from her eyes, but a wild anger covered it for just a moment. "Don't you DARE try to apologize."**

**"I..."**

**"Just stop, Thomas. After all that's happened, don't be a shuck coward and start regretting things. Don't you ever do that." Thomas could recognize the threat on her voice so he didn't try to speak again. They got up and kept walking. And it wasn't for a long while that either of them spoke again.**

**"Beetle Blade." Juliet pointed. "We must be getting close."**

**"Is your leg still okay?"**

**"Yea." She said unconvincingly. But they kept walking until they finally arrived at WICKED'S doorstep.**

 

**When WICKED explained what they wanted to do, panic swelled in Thomas, his heart started pounding and blood rushed in his ears. Beside him, Juliet's voice rang clear and strong in the midst of his panic.**

**"I get it. You can have my brain." The calm in her voice chilled him.**

**"Jules, no."**

**Juliet merely ignored him, speaking instead to the doctors.**

**"What do you need to get this done?"**

**Thomas had to stop her. He closed his hand around her arm.**

**"Stop! Juliet, don't do this. Newt wouldn't have wanted-"**

**Juliet slapped Thomas hard enough that his teeth hurt and his ears rang. When he looked up at her she was quivering with rage. Fury burned in her eyes.**

**"Don't! Don't you dare bring him into this! You don't get to tell me what he would have wanted. Not you. Not after what you did." Juliet forced herself to take several deep breaths. Her voice quieted as she gazed at him, sorrow etched in every line of her face.**

**"Thomas. You let Newt make his choice. Now let me make mine."**

**In the face of her determination Thomas couldn't find a reply. After a moment Rat Man cleared his throat. The man frowned as he leaned forward in his chair.**

**"Unfortunately-" He started to say but Juliet interrupted him with a nonchalant wave of her hand.**

**"Yeah, I know. My brain isn't as perfect as Tommy's, here. But it will help, right?" Sudden conviction sprouted in her voice, strong enough that even Thomas believed her. "You people have to find a cure. After all you slintheads put us through, it better have been for something. So yes, if you need my brain you can have it. I won't live much longer anyway." The three officials exchanged a few quiet words and Thomas held his breath. He could barely believe she was willing to do this when he was still in shock from what they were asking.**

**"Though it's not ideal and we're still hoping that Thomas will volunteer." Rat Man looked at Thomas as if waiting for him to change his mind right then. When Thomas didn't, the man sighed and looked back at Juliet. "But you were one of the final candidates, so your.. sacrifice will indeed help with our research."**

**The lead scientist nodded enthusiastically. "We'll start the preparations now."**

 

**Juliet looked stunning. For the first time since they'd gotten out of the Scorch Thomas thought that Juliet finally looked like herself again. She stood tall and proud, facing the open door with bravery holding up her spine. Strength was evident in her stance, her muscles, and the look on her face. It was only the shadow of sorrow in her eyes that ruined the illusion. Strength, confidence, and an unwavering certainty exuded from every part of her. The tilt of her chin, the flow of her hair, even the way she shifted her weight off of her injured leg, all of it seemed to be saying that she had no apologies to make to this world that she would be glad to be leaving soon. Thomas felt quite sure he'd never in his life been as certain in anything as she was right now. When she spoke to him, she didn't even look his way, but her words were strong.**

**"Here. Take these." Juliet handed Thomas a note and her short sword. "The note is for you. You can read it once you get out of here. And take my knife to Minho, make sure he gets it, okay? He'll understand."**

**For only one short second she met his eyes. Her green eyes were swollen, the skin around them was pulled tight from constant strain, the circles under her eyes spoke of her sorrow and the pain she'd had to go through. But for just a moment, the hard expression softened with kindness. She placed one hand on his shoulder with a nod.**

**"It's alright." Then a very small smile turned up her lips. Thomas tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat, tears burned at his eyes. Newt had been right. This was all his fault.**

**"It's time." A doctor said. Juliet took one deep breath and straightened her shoulders bravely. With only two words Juliet walked away and didn't look back.**

**"Goodbye, Thomas."**

**The door closed behind her with a soft click. And Thomas was left alone with only a note, a knife, and his sorrow.**


	11. Chapter 11

**The sun glowed brightly in the evening sky. Thomas looked down at the sea far below him. This cliff was a nice spot. The other kids wanted to piece their lives together after all they'd been through, but Thomas couldn't. For now, he was too spent. He took a deep breath of the fresh air and reached into his pocket. The note had gotten crumpled, and he smoothed out the edges carefully before he could bring himself to finally read it.**

 

**_"Dear Thomas._ **

**_I'm hoping you live because I need you to pass on a few messages for me._ **

**_First of all. When you see Minho, tell him that I'm sorry for leaving him that day. And as far as Keepers go, his shuck-face was the best one I ever had to have to deal with everyday._ **

**_Second. If you ever see Gally again, let him know that I never once regretted hauling his butt out of the Maze._ **

**_As for you, Thomas._ **

**_I told you once that I would never forgive you for destroying my home, and I don't. I won't. But..._ **

**_Well, you're going to have to live with yourself from now on. And even though I will never forgive you. I do hope that, someday, you learn to forgive yourself. All Newt ever wanted was to make his own choice, to live and die on his own terms. And you gave that to him. You did the right thing. And I'm sure Newt would be grateful. I know it. And since he can't say this to you, I will._ **

**_Thank you, Tommy._ **

**_You did good._ **

**_Whatever happens next, don't forget us. A lot of kids died to get you wherever you end up, remember that. But don't lose your way. Keep fighting, until you don't have to anymore. Then, when all of this is over- Live well. Live free._ **

**_Goodbye._ **

**_~ Juliet."_ **

 

**Thomas looked up from the paper. Somewhere on the beach below him, the others were beginning life anew. Minho had already started bossing everyone around. The boy was wearing Juliet's knife like it was a badge of honor. And Thomas knew that Minho would never again be seen without it. He hadn't explained what had happened with Newt and Juliet, and Minho hadn't asked. But Thomas promised himself that he would pass on Juliet's messages when he next saw the boys. For now, he was just tired. Thomas was tired of fighting, and tired of running. So for a long time, he merely sat on the cliff, waiting to see if tomorrow would come.**

 

**End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I'm done. I apologize for everything. But I hope you enjoyed reading this. Bye!


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